Can someone pretend to be my mom and apologize to me?
This is probably a very weird favor and I don’t know if I am doing this right since it is my first time posting here, but I just really want to hear an apology from my mom. I am tired of being emotionally abused everyday. I am tired of talking to myself and pretending that I could confront her with how I feel. I just want her to apologize for always being insensitive with how I feel, for prohibiting me from crying whenever I feel upset (I have to always stuff my mouth with cloth so that she wouldn’t hear me), for making me feel like I am always at fault, and for always blowing things out of proportion, I want her to apologize for pushing me to hate my own self. I want her to acknowledge that I am a human being, not something that she owns and could control. I want her to treat me like how she treats her dogs. I often feel jealous because she talks so kindly to them. I just want a normal mom, because I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have any siblings, my father is away, and I don’t have genuine friends. I want us to start having a better relationship, especially since we’re living together alone, and that she’s literally my only connection to the real world. Mom, please acknowledge that you are wrong too and apologize to me. I can’t keep soaking up all the yelling, the belittling, and the gaslighting. I could end up harming myself or worse. I am just really tired.
@pioneeringShip289
Thanks so much for sharing. Your pain comes through so clearly in your words. Please know that you are loved and accepted here. You are enough just like you are and no matter what your mom says....you are a blessing. Her negativity is probably something within herself, but it seems that human nature is to hurt the ones we love. You are perfect just the way you are. Sending you big hugs.
I am so sorry for my behavior. I don't know why I do the things I do. I know I love you and I think I am just trying to hold onto you. I have no control in my life so I have to control you. I see you growing and wanting to expand your world while mine contracts, gets smaller and lonelier. Please don't hate yourself. You are a beautiful and amazing person. I actually wish I could be more like you. I had my chance at life and I've made mistakes. I'm trying to "fix" those mistakes by making you exactly what I want you to be. But that can never work. I don't own you...as much as I wish I did. When you get upset, to me it's a mirror reflection of how I'm a failure as a mother. I know deep inside that I am ruining our chance at a good relationship. I don't really know why I do it and I don't know how to change it. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I am so so sorry. It kills me to know that I hurt you this way. The best thing I can tell you is that it's not your fault. It really has nothing even to do with you. It's about my insecurities. But your not going to change me.i can only do that myself. So please accept that this is how I am and I may never change. What I can tell you is that you WILL have better relationships. You will meet people that put you at ease, that lift you up, that bring you joy and support you. I will always love you...the only way I know how. Please be free of the guilt I cause you...it's not because of you and it's not your cross to bear.
You're a fkn angel
Lol thanks. I needed to hear that today
Wow!! This is so relatable personally but flipped for me in my own relationship but it's also like hearing the apology i know I'll never get..... good stuff.
I hope things are better for you. Can message me anytime or be a vent buddy...