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Conglicted about future in-laws

User Profile: AprilOrion
AprilOrion July 24th, 2021

Me (23F) and my fiancé (22M) have been together for 7 years. We've been engaged almost 2 years as a result of the pandemic pushing back our wedding plans. My future in-laws (fiancé's parents) were thrilled about the engagement. During the pandemic I became unemployed. Despite our best efforts it became difficult to pay rent with just my fiancé's income and my unemployment. His parents reached out to us and practically begged us to move in to their house, They have a basement that was converted into a suite with a kitchen and bath and offered for us to stay there for a fraction of what we were paying in rent. We accepted this with gratitude as we didn't have another option really. We made the move and everything was fine until about 3 months later. My fiancé came home very distressed and said his parents needed to talk to me. His father entered the room and said that I was no longer welcome to live there. This was completely unprompted as they'd been nothing but kind to me up until now. No issues arose in the time that we lived there. I am a tidy person and so is my fiancé. We are not loud, we don't keep odd hours. This surprised me to say the least. His parents said I had until the end of the week to leave but wouldn't say why they didn't want me there. I had just gotten a new job 2 weeks prior and due to an emergency hospital stay a few months earlier I was in a fair bit of debt as well. My fiancé and I were in no position to move anywhere else so quickly. We did what we had to. I moved my personal property into storage and my only option from there was to live in my car. I was homeless. My fiancé and our dog were allowed to stay there. It made no sense for the both of us to be without a place to stay so within 2 weeks of living in my car and showering at friends homes I made arrangements to live with my own parents sleeping on their couch when I wasn't working. My fiance was greatly displeased by this but without another immediate option he stayed put. It caused a massive fight between him and his parents. His mother and father refused to speak to me and changed their phone numbers to ensure that I couldn't contact them. This was 7 months ago. His parents still have not spoken a word to me since that night and never provided any reasoning as to why they did what they did We eventually found a place to rent together and we are very happy and have resumed wedding planning. I am conflicted because despite everything that happened my fiancé is an only child and wants his parents at the wedding. I have tried reaching out to mend the relationship with his parents with no luck. I believe that if they are willing to make me homeless for no apparent reason then they shouldn't come. My fiancé sees where I'm coming from and is just caught up in the middle of loving his parents and loving me. Should I try to forgive them or should I stand my ground and hurt my future husband in the process?

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User Profile: PeaceLoveandPaws
PeaceLoveandPaws July 25th, 2021

@AprilOrion

I'm so sorry that happened to you, especially since there seems to be no reason for them to make you to leave. I can't begin to imagine the hurt you are feelings and anger about having been made homeless. I think having mixed emotions about inviting them to your wedding is natural, given the situation. Have the given your fiance any explanation for their behavior? Would knowing their reasons help with your conflicted feelings? Can you forgive them, no matter what their explanation is? Can your fiance forgive them?