Dad was diagnosed with cancer
Came as a shock to me and my mom. We just have each other. Still being a student is scary. After an year of treatment he is doing okay now but the crippling fear of it coming back. I can't sleep for days. , i always feel the anxiety growing in me. Moreover, for my new job i have to move countries. At this point i'll be the only bread earner of the family. Since i love my dad so much i want to be there for it and spend as much time. But this having to go build a career of my own does that make me selfish? Why am i feeling guilty. About it. Will my dad think i wasnt there for him or i do not care. I'm too beaten to have a clarity.
@Ari0725
I think a serious diagnosis, like cancer, can be devastating to a family. I can imagine how scary or traumatic it might have been to see your dad fight so hard to get well. I'm glad to hear he is doing well now. I also understand why you feel so anxious about his future health, worrying about the cancer returning. I'm not a doctor and I don't know the type of cancer he had but, is it possible that he did beat the cancer? Is it possible he will remain cancer free? I know it may be hard to be optimistic about the future, but it's okay to also hope that he is going to be okay, too. You aren't selfish for starting a career, even if that career involves a lot of travel. You mentioned you are the family breadwinner. Is it possible that your career could increase your salary significantly, which could help your family financially? You've mentioned what is holding you back in your career. Have you thought about the positive possibilities for yourself and your family? What might those positive possibilities be?
I'm just too exhausted to think straight! I need someone to tell me it's all going to workout. And it's ok.
@Ari0725
It's okay to feel the way you are feeling. I can't make any promises about the future but I hope everything works out well for you and your family.
It's colorectal cancer. And the followups are needed at this point. I'm a doctor and yes the career opportunity will be financially very helpful for my family. I've always been a very goal oriented person. Even though i know it's the right thing to do. Since i am very anxious and uncertain about his future, i feel i'll be missing out on spending time with him in person. I cannot certainly sit at home and do that. This situation is very emotionally exhausting. Even though in this era i can always be in touch with video calls. But if i was 10 years older than i am now, i would have probably taken a step back from work at this point. Since i'm literally at the starting point of something big, i'm kinda hand tied. I don't know if i am making any sense. I love my dad so much i never want him to feel i wasn't there. The very fact that even he is very encouraging for my career endeavour breaks my heart.