Dealing with Possible Divorce
A couple nights ago my dad told my mom he was considering divorce. It turned into an argument between them with my dad saying things to my mom about how she isn't responsible enough. Then my brother had to intervene and got into a big fight with my dad. To put it in appropriate words, it got ugly. From what I experienced, I felt traumatized and my anxiety was at an 11. This comes at not such a great time when my grandma recently passed away, my dad wants to sell the apartment, and I am still without a job. Most of all, I am fearful of my dad when he is around.
@wandamx26
Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this situation it seems extremely stressful, that possible divorce will be dramatic change in your family and as you mentioned you had dealing with grief and finical challanges too .
You need to learn some healthy copying with family stress , emotions regulations too and keep hope maybe your family set together , some good news shown to you
@wandamx26,
I've been there, except for the getting ugly part... when my Mum and Dad got divorced, I was way past college life, and well into the working world. I was, and still am, an emotional person and this event triggered a lot of tears between my mum and I, when she shared stories of all the things she had done in the past (away from everyone's eyes) to keep this family together by suffering alone. She poured her heart out to me with things from when I was still a baby, or toddler, and about how she dealt with a husband who just wasn't involved with his kids since the beginning, and had to be told to do things for help. And even then she struggled because he would leave them to her or just forget... Life hasn't been easy for her as I found out much later, and by that time, I had started despising my Dad for being that person I never saw in the background. I became her support for the longest time, and it just made me bolder to the point where I told my Dad to just not return home one day (he used to work on rotations), and he never did. I haven't seen him since. But the divorce happened! I told my mum to initiate it because she had been giving too many chances, holding on to a person who just didn't want to be here... She finally did, and has been a better / freer person since. I know it looks like the worst thing right now, but believe me, if one has already thought of the divorce, don't look at it as a negative thing. It's a positive to not have that wrong person in your life anymore for you to finally move forward, and to be honest, change the energy around the house. It sounds like you and your brother are both mature enough to be working and supporting your Mum, so do that! Make her feel loved again, and give her everything you've got! I did and we just created a stronger bond as we cried our hearts out and got rid of all the negative energies that we had held onto for so long. After that phase, I know we both became much better!
Everything happens for a reason... if you're scared of your Dad being around, you will never feel confident. Let go of him and it will change you for the better. My prayers are with you and your family! Best wishes for all to go well and end well eventually. Just be sure to have an open communication and support the right things! 💙