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Dislike dad

User Profile: imaginativeCat507
imaginativeCat507 March 5th, 2021

Hello, I’m 22 living at home due to the pandemic. I want to start by saying that I have seen people with their dads have a healthy relationship and accept each other for flawed personalities. I love my parents too but I really don’t like my dad. I feel so uncomfortable around him because I don’t want to share my life with him. He was pretty scary growing up but he has mellowed out and tries to rebuild our relationship. I hate sharing my dreams and goals with him. Ive really wanted a dog for a very long time and since I got a job I was ready to get one finally. But he said no - which is a classic move by him to dismiss my plans id been planning and organizing for so long without a second thought. I was upset so he tries to force cheer me up and got mad when I didn’t wanna be cheered up. Previously he asked me why I never did stuff people were doing but it was because I knew if I asked him to do it he would most likely say no. I really don’t care about my new job rn because I don’t understand what I’m working towards. I can’t move out yet Bc of the pandemic and getting a dog is out of the question for at least 6-8 months when I do move. I feel so childish being hung up on this dog thing but it’s the only thing I have ever really wanted. Idk how I can act like things are normal between us ever again because of this seemingly small incident. My dreams matter too I used to think. I am not one to “want” things anyway. But just this once I wanted something and he didn’t let me. The fact that I even need permission to buy and pay for my own dog is infuriating. But on top of that he said no which makes me feel like I’ll never truly like him as a person. I feel like he will never understand how much dogs mean to me. So anything else in my life I don’t want to share either. I have been trying to internally cool down for 2 ish weeks now but I just can’t. This is so unlike me I barely ever get angry and definitely not for longer than half a day. Idk if I’m being rational or not anymore I am so embarrassed that I am behaving like this. But in my heart I truly feel resentment towards him.

2
User Profile: PeaceLoveandPaws
PeaceLoveandPaws March 7th, 2021

@imaginativeCat507

It sounds like you and you dad have a long history of disconnect between you. I can understand why you are resentful because of the history you share. I can relate to sutuation; loving someone but not really liking them. It must be difficult sharing a home with him becaue you are so uncomfortable in your relationship. The resentment you feel is understandable and valid. And, I am sorry he denied allowing you to have a dog at home. Pets can be of great comfort during times of uncertainty and provide unconditional love and support. I hope things take a turn for the better, with your job, you living situation, and with you dad. Your dreams and hopes matter a great deal. I wish you the best.

1 reply
User Profile: imaginativeCat507
imaginativeCat507 OP March 11th, 2021

Thank you so much! I wish you the best as well :)

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