Family problems. Seeking guidance
Hi, I’m feeling a lot of frustration and anger towards my mom and dad and am worried about my sister. In short, I live independently and live close to my parents. My mom and dad live with my sister. I have very different views and values from my parents and a lot of the time I feel like I don’t even want to see or talk to them. However, I still care about them even though I feel a lot of anger towards them.
I’m worried about my sister because she lives with then and has felt really depressed for a while. I think she feels really lost in life and not sure what she wants to do as far as jobs and career-wise. She is extremely dependent on them and seems to not have any real plan as far as being independent from my parents, it kind of feels like she lives in a fantasy land. It’s okay for her to not really have super clear plans for the future but the main thing that I am worried about right now is how depressed she seems. She has really bad insomnia and every time that I ask how she is doing it sounds like she is really stressed out and in a really bad place.
I guess what I am struggling with is that I really want to support her and I try to talk to her or at least reach out to her regularly but she is really bad at picking up calls or responding to texts. I am worried about her. I mostly just want to know how she is doing and I want to support her. But the issue is that I don’t really like my parents in a lot of ways and I don’t really want to go to their house to visit her. I’m just really grossed out by their values and views. I care so much about my sister but I don’t really know what to do. It kind of also feels like my sister is scared of me and doesn’t trust me.
I kind of want guidance on all of this but I also kind of just wanted to share. I am trying to figure out how to navigate this whole situation and am wanting to figure out how I can best support my sister. I’m also kind of worried about my parents’ mental health and feel like they are not in a very good place right now. I guess I’m just feeling anxious and worried and stressed all around and want to know that how I am feeling makes sense and that others can relate to what I am going through.
@eumesmo
so very sorry you deal with family stuff. I hope your sister gets better. so glad you want to support her
Thanks I appreciate it
@eumesmo Wow, are you me? I am/was dealing with this PRECISE situation.
My solution, personally, was to have my sister move in with me. She is similar to your sister in that she is severely depressed/anxious. My sister has maintained a decent paying job for about a year now so she is able to pay some rent.
I don't know if you're in a position to support her, but if you do choose to help get your sis get away from your parents, understand that she may not "blossom" right away. I thought my sister would begin to thrive within a few months of being in a healthy environment, but removing external stressors does not solve the internal challenges.
If nothing else, I hope you can take your sister out to the park or a café once in a while. I'm sure she values your relationship, even if she doesn't outwardly show it. I think it's important for them to see what life could be like, if they can find the strength to try.