Ghosting to cutting my friends
I'm dealing with a lot of shit right now, I have been ghosting my friends from high school and I have an explanation for that, maybe they hate me right now, and it's fine:
- my friends're nice, but they make fun of people, and talk behind their back. makes me think they'll do it to me too. if they would know about my problems they would make fun of it too, they're my friends but I couldn't confide to them
- they don't consider my feelings, they just don't listen. they change the topic when I say something sad or depressing
- in a group of friends there's this duck who's ugly, stupid, and short and that's me
- I don't think I'm fit to be their friend, I got some serious problems, I embarrassing to be friends with
- with them, I don't grow as a person
- I feel like they're limiting me to do something; ex. in choosing a dress for my other friends debut, they choose the dress for me, it was nice, but it doesn't suit my body, i'd say I'll choose but for the choice I made they'll say "uhmm, it's fine"( with disgust on there face) and which for me suits my body just right and the other one would say "if you choose that we would have the same style in dress"
- they keep secrets from me
- I don't feel like I'm still there friend
- I heard they said I'm toxic for ghosting them (where I'm dealing with some personal issues)
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all of this! I know how having a toxic friend group can be, and honestly you’re doing the thing that’s best for you, which is 100% okay. If they’re being toxic and putting you down, and other people down, then it’s okay for you to take a step back from the friend group. The thing that’s most important is your mental health and if they’re not willing to even listen to you, you deserve better friends who will at least hear you out. I’m here if you ever need to talk to someone! Remember to stay strong and keep your head up :)
@mededicatedstudent
Thank you for your post! 
I'm really thinking that so many other people will be able to relate to what it is that you are saying!
I'm thinking you are wise beyond your years and have the knowledge that "if they are doing these things to other people, then it is highly likely that they would do it to me too". It's a pattern of unkindness and mean spiritedness and it truly says more about the person that is saying these types of things, than it does about their victims.
It sounds as if you have made a choice, and you are choosing to rise about this behavior maybe don't want to be around or be associated with this negativity. I can understand and completely 
Sure, it sounds as if they may be toxic people and have problems of their own. Being around people like this only brings us down. Good things in = good things out. Perhaps you could even consider befriending some of the people they have targeted in the past. I bet they would love to have a great friend just like you!
I have always said, in the end...........it's better to be alone than to be in bad company. I send you big *hugs* 