How do you get the support you need
Hi,
I am in a very intense school program right now that is four years and I may potentially be looking at doing a residency program after. It all feels very intimidating with a lack of supportive family having partially cut off my parents (I told my mom I would talk once a month though and I'm considering whether I want to make more concerted push at some point to express how unsupported I feel and the steps I want her to take, mainly going to counseling with my dad etc. which I've asked for before but she was unwilling to do).
How have you all gotten help for things that parents normally help with, like managing student loans, moving, going through stressful life changes, etc? If you built relationships with others, who were they and how did you find them or ask them to fill that role?
@Daydreamer47
Hey there!
First, please let me share that I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a time of struggles and feel unsupported.
I left home at an early age and had to find alternatives to having a parent available for support. Using your list above:
managing student loans: I asked a school counselor to help with understanding and filling out the paperwork
moving: I asked friends or other family members for help (offering pizza, snacks or sodas in return for their help)
going through stressful life changes: I considered people that I knew who were trustworthy, understanding and that I felt comfortable sharing details with. Those people included: counselors, teachers, adults that I knew among family and friends (my best friend's mom was someone I talked to about things)
In regards to asking them, I started by taking charge of my situations and then asked them for their help:
I am filling out student loans. Would you help me understand the paperwork?
I am moving. Would you help me carry the boxes?
I am dealing with this situation. Can I ask you for your opinion?
These are only examples of how I handled my situation. I hope something here may spark an idea for you in your situation.
~ Sher
@Sher217 Thank you. That was really helpful. I guess I struggle with building and keeping those stronger relationships where I feel comfortable asking for those types of things due to social anxiety/ trust issues and often feeling like it's not appropriate. I feel like you have given me some ideas though, and I have been working on this with my therapist as well.
@Daydreamer47 you're welcome! I'm happy to help 😊
~ Sher
