Incidents between me and my parents
- (childhood): my dad asked me for the tv remote and I thought it would be funny to prank him by hiding the remote behind my back and tell him that I can't find it. upon revealing it as a prank, he slapped me across the face. I left the room and washed my face with water to wipe away the tears before going downstairs to my mom so that she wouldn't know. even at a young age, I realized that I would not receive any emotional support - that is why I washed my tears. my dad has never apologized.
- (childhood): I was crying because I needed a suppository to help me pass stool due to being constipated. my parents ignored me because they were upset with me for not having proper bowel habits. in that moment I remember crying out in desperation but their own sense of indignation was more important than my pain.
- (teenage): my dad told me, "you better tell your mother to watch it". it was a faux-threat, meant as a joke. I was doing my homework and threw my pencil in frustration and went to the other room. when I came back I lay into my parents, having seen them fight growing up. it was no joke for me. later in the day my dad let me know how disappointed he was that I disrespected my parents. again, he had no concern for my emotional turmoil - i had never had an emotional outburst like that before in my life.
- (adulthood): I went through food poisoning earlier in the day and was recuperating. mother: you are not even doing the small things. i tell you to drink water sitting down. and it's all for you, not for myself. i absolutely do not feel like i should still be telling you these things because you are 30 years old. you are a man now. but still i force myself to tell you these things so that it makes a small difference and helps your body stay in shape otherwise there is absolutely no reason for me to be telling you these things. but still, if it'll make you go for a walk i will speak up. son i will one day suddenly perish i am telling you. and then there will be no one to ask you anything or follow up with you about anything. no one will care about you. you know how poor your relationship is with your father. and, tell me this, why would anyone do all this? why? if you were a small child, then it would be understandable. i have just eaten and i took the stairs to get up here instead of the elevator because there might be a power cut. had i gotten stuck in the elevator and you started feeling unwell, it would have taken me an hour or two to get out of the elevator. that's why i took the stairs even though i normally i don't. why do i put so many vegetables in your omelet? so that some vegetables go in your body. how many times have i told you that i have trouble standing? and yet still i make the effort. i know you eat pizzas and burgers every day. every day. ask anyone if you should eat this daily. if you think i'm wrong, then ask someone else. if you are incapable of understanding such a small thing, i don't know what else to do. have i not told you numerous times to go for a walk after eating so that your nerves get some movement and the food get digested? if you ever have a health issue - are you listening? - i will pay for treatment but the pain and discomfort that comes with it, you will have to bear it alone. i might feel sad seeing you in pain but the pain will be yours alone to bear. what exactly is your problem? why are you incapable of doing anything? how many days has it been since you showered?
- (adulthood): father: so this, what is this, i don't understand what you're getting at. son (32 years old): [laughs to relieve tension] i find it a bit awkward. father: [interjecting] you find it a bit awkward. what do you find awkward? son: that you're making me breakfast or dinner or that you ask me if you should cook something. father: [interjecting] so then say "no", what's the problem? i won't cook breakfast or dinner. son: no but, [pauses]. father: [interjecting]: if you find it awkward then i won't cook for you. you can cook yourself or order food online. son: no, i know i have those options. father: [speaking over son] there's no compulsion on my part to cook for you. son: by this age, one should be a bit independent. father: [interjecting] at what? yes of course, i'm not denying that. you are independent, what problem are you having? what is the difficulty? if you go live on your own, don't you think other people will gossip? even our own family members. son: [laughs to relieve tension]. father: [continuing] people will, after all, find out that you're living on your own and people will get the wrong impression about you and about us, your parents. son: the other thing is that i am thinking of going abroad for my master's degree. father: [interjecting] that's good. that's great. son: so i'll have to live by myself when i'm abroad. father: [interjecting] so when you'll have to live alone, then do so. why are you wanting to do that now? son: [laughs to relieve tension] to practice living alone. father: you've had practice living alone in the past. do you have a problem living here? in this neighborhood? son: no, i don't have a problem. father: so? in fact, you have the option to send me away. i'll leave in 2 or 3 or 4 days if you want. why are you unnecessarily wasting money by wanting to move out? son: no it's not unnecessary, my only reasoning was that. father: [interjects] from where are you wanting to do your master's degree?
@considerateCucumber4142 go abroad, get your masters degree, divorce your parents. And live happily ever after, you deserve it ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I second this suggestion. In fact I strongly suggest and strongly recommend you do this. You’ll love it.
@considerateCucumber4142
I’m sorry you’ve gone through this with your parents.
TV remote prank: Instead of slapping you and making you cry as a child, he should’ve seen it as a joke and laughed it off saying “good one son” Things like pranks are what children/kids do and one of the things they’re known for. You were just being yourself. Nothing wrong with that so you didn’t deserve the slap. I’m guessing your dad is not mentally healthy enough to realize that he wasn’t the dad he should’ve been to you.
Bowels: At the very least they could’ve taken you to the doc and have you checked out and give you something like medication or whatever to help you get rid of this problem.
Seeing your parents fighting: I’ve experienced this many times in my life. But I just don’t get involved anymore. It’s not gonna stop them from fighting with each other which they do every day so what’s the point of getting involved and creating stress for myself as a result? Your parents thinking you were disrespectful, that’s wrong. Maybe this just shows that they don’t realize there’s some mental health problems going on with them????
Food poisoning: If I was a family member of yours I’d be more supportive than that. I’d ask you if you’re ok, if you’re having problems or need help with anything, etc.
Your dad cooking, yes or no:: Did your dad ask you if you wanted him to make breakfast or dinner for you and what you wanted for breakfast and/or dinner? If not, he should’ve asked those questions BEFORE he made them. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.