Mother ended relationship
Long story short, my partner and I began dating almost 3 years ago. I kept it a secret from my parents for months because he was older and I knew they wouldn’t like it. Flash forward to a few months ago when my partner and I decided to call it quits over constant arguments, he was dealing with a major health issue (cancer) and it cause too much strain on our relationship so we parted ways.
I was heartbroken and upset and went to my family sharing very little of what happened but a few tidbits of what happened was shared. Keep in mind during the relationship I never spoke of him to my parents. They had no idea of the good moments we had only these very few bad ones that led to the relationship ending.
After being apart for a few months we reconciled and established where we went wrong and how we could do better. We decided to give it another go. I had been miserable all those months and realized I was unhappy without him as he was unhappy without me.
My parents upon finding out were mad, upset and hurt over my choice. I respect their feelings. My mother has decided to cut me out of her life as a result. Am I wrong for putting my own happiness first. I do not know how to cope knowing I could maybe never talk to my mother again.
@forcefulSea7026
Hi there!!
It sounds like you're really going through a rough time in your life. It looks like you were in a long term relationship that ended a few months back due to life's challenges.
I can imagine breaking up after dating for so long could definitely put you in a dark place, we all need support when we're down and I'm glad you were able to turn to your family to help you out. It sounds like you never shared a lot about your relationship in general- and the stuff they did know, was mostly the bad stuff from when your relationship was about to end.
I'm glad to hear that you were able to work it our with your partner in a healthy way, it sounds like neither of you wanted it to end at all, and have realized that you're better together which is so understandable as it seems like you've had a pretty long term relationship- Its totally okay to take breaks in order to figure things out.
I can imagine your parents only knowing the bed parts of your relationship would've been upset that you were getting back together, but you know best when it comes to if it was healthy and best for you. Its so unfortunate to hear that your mother cut contact with you, simply for just getting back together with your partner. It sounds like you were very upset without him, and because you were able to handle it maturely I'm so sure its healthy as well.
You should always put your happiness first when it comes to any situation, but i can imagine this one is very hard for you. Having to choose between two people you love is so hard, especially when its your own mother. She should support your love and I'm so sorry to hear she doesn't ):
Have you tried speaking to her about why she doesn't want you to get back together? Maybe you'll be able to come to a solution talking to her. It sounds like this is a very upsetting time for you. Do you think there's any reason she might not want you both together? You could try explaining how happy you were/are with him?
Thank you very much for sharing with us today. If you would like live 1-1 support- please don't hesitate to connect with a listener. We're always here for you.
xo
Aliia 🖤
