Narcissistic mom
My mom is being very narcissistic. Doesn't let my sister go to college due to silly reasons. Doesn't like me being at home struggling to find a job and managing chores because she's being treated for TB. Taunts me for not being employed since 4 years ( I graduated in 2019) . No encouragement at all. Bitching about me and my sister to my dad after he comes home from work. Feel numb sometimes.
@Winglessbutterfly98
Hi there,
I feel sorry for what you have experienced. You know, our lives are ours, not anyone else. It is lucky to have parents who support children’s dreams, but if not, don’t let them decide who you are. Good luck;)
Hey @Winglessbutterfly98, sorry that you are going through this situation. I have also grown up in a dysfunctional environment with parents that have toxic behaviours[Verbal abuse from both parents and physical & SA from my mother ...]. I ended up moving out since I was 18 years old. I've travelled from town to city and state to state
Have you talked to your father about your mother's behaviour? Is he understanding?
In regards to dealing with your mother's vitriol, I suggest using the Grey Rock Method: gohttps://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock#definition
Basically, if she's rude towards you, avoid her or walk away. If she asks questions, give her short, non-emotional responses. Just don't let her be aware that you are grey rocking her, or it might escalate her behavior.
As for finding jobs, I have been on and off with employment due to traumatic events happening in my life, but now I'm happy and employed at a stable job.
If you haven't check it out yet, I recommend trying job agencies. They have temporary jobs, temp to hire, and contracts. The recruiter's job is to help find you a job that best fits you. There are some agencies too, where you can take little classes (for free) to gain skills and get a certificate to put down on your resume. Also, many call center jobs/retail are hiring if you want something really quick, then you can do that temporary until you find something you really enjoy doing. But I would probably talk to the Temp/Job Agency first, and see if they can find you a job that best fits what you're looking for.
If you haven't already, perhaps file for unemployment as well? That way, you have some income flow, and can eventually move out of your parents house to be free from your mother's verbally abusive behavior.
Perhaps you and your sister could even rent out an apartment and become roommates to save money. I've done so with my brothers before. Currently, since I've dealt with an eviction, one of my older brothers is letting me stay for free until I get back on my feet. If you have other relatives you could live with besides your mother that may help too, to remove you from that negative environment she causes.
I wish you all the best and please feel free to update us if you feel comfortable.
I had a narc mother. I left home at 16. No regrets.
