No encouragement
in school and college, I was told that work and school is all I need to focus. No point in relationahips or dating because they are not important. In college, my mom coasiged my first student loan so I had that reminder too. Proud to say ALL loans are paid off and early.
She still does not encourage me to go out or have fun. I do live with her and work 45+ hours and have 3 dogs. She does not want rent money but does expect me to help around the house and groceries. I do not mind because its definetly cheaper then rent and I like going on the roof to blow off the leaves. and my dogs are low maintence - we leave the door open when home so they can go in and out.
But I have not been out with friends in 2.5 years. Lately, she goes out with her friends. Whatever. 4 months ago, I told her I was thinking of going to a casino to play the slots for an hour. She freaks out and says ""so im expected to watch your dogs?!" and then goes inside. I did not go because she upset me. Not once dyring these past 2.5 years has she told me to go out and have fun. In fact, if I work to many hpurs she gets upset.
I am an introvert and I do not need to go out all the time but I think I may becoming depressed. I see all my friends on facebook and try to keep in touch. those nearby do things with each other and it keeps making me more lonely.
Another notr, my mom is a special ed teacher and can spot when her students need her or spmething is bugging them. with me , nothing.
And she has a her college boyfriend back in her life that came back like 10 years and that has fucked oyr realtionship. She is so happy her son is married and has tolx people he deserves to be married and have happiness. I am happy with my pups but I feel bad when i ask "where is mine?" I have no desire to marry but where is mine?
That definitely sucks :( I think working all day without any breaks or fun is toxic. I had this problem too. I have very strict parents and would constantly expect me to have an A on everything (not to stereotype but they're asian haha) I'm in college now and I did get a little more freedom until Covid came :( but I still try to wait for that moment to. I'm trying to focus on doing things that I can do to make me happy (Like reading or watching). It gets pretty lonely so I try to watch a movie with friends via discord. Have you tried that? I hope everything turns out well for you!
I love reading a do play on my PS3. but after 2.5 years....its lonely. I have tried to reach out to people but nothing so far.
I would honestly suggest you start taking some liberties. Go out and have some fun for you. You don’t need your mom’s permission. Watching the dogs is just one of many arguments she may make to gain control over the situation. Think about what your long term goals are and go for it.
I agree with people above. Do you have a car? If not, maybe ask one of your nearby friends to pick you up to just get coffee or see a movie? If she gets upset, stand your ground that you are still focused on school and are getting good grades, but need some friends for balance.
I’m sorry your mom overlooks you, I often feel this with mine too. My only advice is to be quiet and avoid her eye contact, I’m still learning too
