Parenting My Siblings
As a first born, there's a lot of things that I feel very flawed of myself. And sometimes I think that stems from my parents' parenting. And I feel the responsible to not let my younger siblings to go through what I had to. So often times I catch myself parenting my siblings. Then they would stray away from me. Which makes me hurt and bothered. I dont want to have a dull relationship with my siblings but I also dont want to let themselves be ruined like how I have had my life ruined.
What should I do? Is there any subtle approach for me to help them or should I just let them be? but if it's the latter, I would feel guilty if something ever happen to them due to their recklessness. Since theyre now pre-teens and very curious about a lot of stuff. How do I channel it to a good way?
Since this has become an issue within myself, sometimes I caught myself doubting if I can ever be a good parent.
@wildorked
Hey, based on what you are saying, it seems like you are doing your best and you are a good sibling. Do not doubt yourself. Parenting is always difficult, and it might seem like your siblings are straying away from you, but it might simply be because they do not understand that you do it for their best and I am sure they love you nonetheless. I think one advantage you have is that siblings usually tell more to each other than to parents so maybe try to encourage them to confide in you. I have not been there to judge (and maybe you are already doing it) but I would try to be non-judgemental and ask more curious questions to really understand their motive first before lecturing them. After you understand them, you can ask whether they want to hear your opinion, so this way they will see you more like a friend than an authoritative figure and I think then they will be more trusting and open with you. They need to know that your love is unconditional and that they can tell you anything.
