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Pregnant Girlfriend, My Racist Family (LONG POST)

User Profile: bandanadan
bandanadan November 18th, 2021

Hi everyone!


Lets start from the beginning!


my girlfriend and I have originally known each other for 16 and started dating early this year it is currently a “long distance” relationship (only 2 hours away and in different states) we both live with our parents ive had a steady job for 5-6 years and she’s currently unemployed because she was going to go back to college and take programming courses to get certifications. Due to the times the courses were (10am-7pm) there arent really any jobs willing to work around those times.


Fast forward to finding pregnancy out


A few weeks ago we found out she was pregnant (8 weeks in) and we needed to tell our parents. (I am white, she is Hispanic) my parents completely lost it and ever since my daily routine has been wake up, go to work, come home, get yelled at, walk out of the house and drive around cause I’m pissed, and go to bed. My Girlfriend and I decided we didn’t want to raise a baby under separate roofs and parents don’t approve.


I was told that I had to be out of the house before the baby was born so essentially I was being kicked out anyway. I can’t quit my job and move to her state because I’m the only one earning a steady income… but her parents have been great about the entire thing they show that yes they are concerned but they also show that they will help us in anyway possible, my parents on the other hand have emphasized that they will be there for me and the baby but not for her.


So after we found out I drove up to see her 2 days later to go for the ultrasound and I stayed there Friday and Saturday, I get a call from my mom saying that we all need to talk and the sooner I get home the better… so respecting my mother’s wishes I leave at 10am and get to my house at noon. Only to get yelled at by my mom about it as my dad is trying to actually talk. With my mom shouting at me saying that “she trapped you” and “you don’t have to sign that birth certificate” amongst a lot more stuff.


the arguments haven’t gotten any better as time has gone on last night my moms told me she did not approve of my girlfriend at all which I then said “why because she’s Hispanic” and mom straight forward says “yes” without any hesitation… My mom has argued with my girlfriend face to face which resulted in us leaving the house at 3pm and not getting back until about 1am…


I will argue for my girlfriend and back her up when she isn’t around to defend herself. I do plan on raising this child with her and signing the birth certificate. I am just so frustrated with everything going on and i don’t really know how to handle the situation… it’s screwed up and I hate it… everyone we’ve told on her side has expressed there concern but has said congratulations. Not one person on my side has said said so much as a congratulations. Anymore every time my mom talks to me I just want to lash out it doesn’t even have to be about the pregnancy or my girlfriend it’s just left a really bad taste in my mouth…

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User Profile: Sher217
Sher217 November 20th, 2021

@bandanadan

It sounds like there's a lot happening at once. What you described can be overwhelming! It sounds like there are two things going on: trying to figure out what is best for you and your girlfriend in having a baby; and also your relationship with your mom.

I really respect that you have laid out possible options for yourself, your girlfriend, and the future. I'm sorry to hear that your parents, it seems mostly mom, are not able to be supportive of you and that you are getting yelled at. I'm glad that her family seems to be supportive and willing to help. It sounds like you are trying to do what you think is best for everyone. Please remember that choices are yours to make. Others can offer opinions, but it's you who gets to decide what is best for you.


~ Sher