Taking a break from long time SO

I apologize in advance if this is going to be a bit cryptic, or if my grammar isn't great. I'm using speech to text and I'm trying to keep details to a minimum because while they have contributed to the situation, it is not the core.

My SO and I of 15 years have decided to take a break in our relationship. We still cohabitate (long story) and we are going into use this time to work on our various mental health stuff.

I have been having increasingly hard times communicating with her. She tells her friends everything without fear but will not tell me or her mom (her primary driver in any treatment she gets currently) anything unless she has gotten desperate.

I understand some of this is my doing because of poor reactions, but she seems unable or unwilling to seek out resources to help her manage the effects her ADHD and Autism has in her communication.

This is all on top of her having schizoaffective disorder and her having eroded my trust with lies, withholding information, and not seeking help for her focus issues.

I am dealing with severe depression. I may be dealing with other things but I'll be seeing a specialist in about a week about further diagnostics and to start TMS therapy for my depression. I did have childhood ADHD, but not sure how much that is in play now.

We both had cPTSD.

I was wondering if there's anything y'all would recommend (a book, a talk, anything really) that could at least help me get a better foundation for communicating with her?

Note: We are both reading through a book on Nonviolent Communication and will be working on a DBT workbook. We have the same therapist and she's encouraged this route as well