being the black sheep

my mom hates my dad, but is still lives with him and is married to him. I'm an adult already, but I only recently started to realise how toxic my family is. I've always seem to be the dumbest sibling, the youngest, the one nobody would respect. I'm also the one most similar to my dad, therefore my mom hate loves me? She has that old thinking of "you're my child therefore I need to love you" but I still feel her hatred towards me. I try to not get too emotional about it. It's not just my mom, not being respected or seen as someone equal to my siblings also bothers me. they're both older than me and my siblings openly told me that they could give a f about me, but I'm their sister and they only care about me for the sake of our parents. All of this is so messed up.

(moved to proper location by CML @Sher217 05/10/2022)

(edited due to censor bypass by CML @Sher217 05/10/2022)