Finding New Trust in Parents
I am almost 31 and for the first time since college ended at 24 and I left my hometown for good at 28, my parents have finally stopped texting/calling me every day. This has drastically improved my mental health in the last few months since I’m now more connected with 100% of my emotions and needs. Last Tuesday, I had to receive a shot at urgent to treat allergy symptoms/hay fever that broke up my sleep every night for 4 months. I’ve cleared up completely and said nothing to my parents this past weekend about the urgent care trip when they came to town except that I had used Flonase for a few weeks and replaced my dirty AC filter. But I volunteered those minor details instead of my parents asking. So I doubt they’ll ask anymore. For many months, I struggled to get sleep and finally sneaked in a psychiatrist appointment yesterday who prescribed me hydroxyzine for my insomnia and recent congestion. Again, I have said nothing so far and plan not to say anything to my parents.
I have worried a bit about if they would ask me anything health-related since they’re retired doctors and I told them everything when I had more to do with them. But they were underfoot all of 2025 to help me with Spravato sessions, my house purchase, and Crohn’s treatments, when they felt this annoying entitlement to give me outdated/invalidating opinions over my mental health. I grew weary of constant appointments and having my parents know everything no matter how they would react. But I think now that I’m past my urgent hay fever treatment and new Hydroxyzine prescription they’re demonstrating trust in me over my health needs in addition to handling everything else better than before.
How can I put aside my worries over my parents trust in me being in control of my health now? Including my recent medical visits?
@Sasquatch254
You've got this.
You can make decisions regarding your own health.
No one knows better than you, what's best for you.
And I'm glad you have a little more space 💚🤗
@Amanda84
This is so wonderful for me to see. Thanks so much for this reply! This is what I need to hear as well, since sometimes my parents have pulled out guilt-trips and questioned my abilities to see about my mental health. The extra space will be all that I need!
@Sasquatch254
And what you deserve 💚
@Sasquatch254
I will tried to be simple as I could to give an advice.
"Follow the rules."
Well, it will make them less worried.
Because there is already a negative stigma for you so it is best for you to follow the rules of your parents on medication unless you could afford to live your own but it seems like you couldn't so, just follow the rules that are set by your parents for medication since you are under them.
You don't have the capabilities to fight your parents, cause if you could, you already live by your own and able to afford yourself, so any wise person will not argue with the one with the upper hands when you are still depanding on it.
@organticUnicorn9398 Thankfully I have been out of my parents' house for 3 years now and have had my current full-time position even longer than that. I don't blame them for needing help from them when I was under their roof and even when I was trying to adjust in my current situation. It's different now that I'm financially independent and feel like my parents have sometimes made me disconnected with my own needs.
@Sasquatch254
Your feelings matter and don't let anyone tell you they don't 💚🩷
@Amanda84 Thank you for that truth! I love hearing that and this will help in my recent strides in accepting all of my feelings.