How Siblings Contribute to "The Good Life"

"Eighty percent of American children grow up with at least one brother or sister — more than the number of kids living with their father. Yet, for more than a century, psychological research has largely ignored the importance of sibling relationships.

The inexplicable neglect began with Sigmund Freud himself. The founder of psychoanalysis refers to the sibling relationship only five times in his two dozen volumes of work. More than a century later — only during the past two decades — have researchers begun to conduct meaningful studies on how siblings shape one another’s lives.

In their traditional focus on the individual’s relationship with each parent, psychoanalysts have overlooked the essential ways in which siblings, too, shape childhood. Children spend more out-of-school time with their siblings than with anyone else, including parents and friends, and siblings typically share the longest relationship over the course of their lifetimes. From their earliest days together, siblings exert a deep influence on one another’s healthy growth and well-being.

Other studies corroborate these findings.

Recent studies have indicated that sibling relationships have a significant influence on development. For example:

• Adolescents who perceived that their siblings validated their beliefs and feelings reported higher levels of self‐esteem.

• Sibling support and a strong sibling relationship are correlated with better academic performance.
• For children in or at risk of poverty — with conditions such as family ***, parental mental illness, and/or divorce — the steady presence of an emotionally stable person, like an older sibling, improved their chances of becoming a well‐adjusted adult.
• Sibling support and closeness were associated with reduced levels of loneliness and depression, as well as greater satisfaction later in life.

What can parents do?

Parents set the stage for sibling relationships, and they can help their children build strong connections. Here are a few ways parents can strengthen their children’s bonds:

• Never compare one sibling to another, and never take sides when siblings argue. Instead, help the children work out a solution that’s agreeable to both.
• Be careful not to favor one child over another. Favoritism creates competition and conflict.
• Coach young children explicitly on how to get along. Help your children develop the skills to manage conflict. When there’s disagreement, teach them to express their points of view in a disagreement while actively working to solve the problem.
• Create opportunities for siblings to foster a close relationship through shared family activities — sports, board games, regular events such as a weekly family hike or movie night.
• Praise siblings when they get along. This shows children that their parents value a harmonious relationship.
• Promote close relationships with friends and family members. One study found that preschoolers who had at least one positive friend relationship before a sibling was born were more likely to have a positive relationship with their new brother or sister.

Relationships are complicated and can be challenging, Waldinger admits — but he encourages people to commit to the challenge of sustaining lifelong connections. It’s worth the investment, he says, because his research shows that the strength of connections with family members and friends is what makes life itself fulfilling and meaningful."

*Having a good relationship with your sibling can lead to many benefits in life, including overall health and well-being and camaraderie that is life-long. Siblings can have huge impacts on our lives and are sometimes our first friends. I know these relationships can be difficult at times though. I have one sister and we really don't get along at all, unfortunately. There are 7 years between us, so I think the different stages of life are so different and we can't really relate to each other at this point. We also have very different personalities! Every sibling pair or group is different, so the relationships will vary as well! Do you have any siblings? How are your relationships with them?*

#Siblings #Sisters #Brothers

Please find the full article at Psychology Today.

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