My brother disrespect our parents
I'm sorry for the long message but I really need to vent. I feel really hurt and I don't know what to do with my feelings.
My younger brother is 18 years old and is ending school soon and he also works a part-time job. He behaves like a very spoiled little brat and disrespects our parents and blames them for everything. He locks his door and takes the keys with him whenever he leaves and doesn't allow anyone to go into his room (I understand privacy but that's a bit too much). He demands that our parents pay for everything, but then he also refuses to help them with anything. He also pretends he doesn't know them whenever he is with his friends.
My parents see that and are trying to talk to him but he just doesn't want to. He sometimes talks with me, but whenever I try to talk about it, he treats it as a joke and says he doesn't see a problem. He has the mentality of a little kid and I hope he will mature one day, but I feel like my parents will have a lot of problems with him and it just breaks my heart... I really hope it's just a phase, but who knows? I don't know what else I can do. If me or my parents are harsh towards him, he treats it as an attack and just closes himself in his room or goes out to his friends. If we are trying to have a normal, serious conversation, he treats it as a joke because he '' didn't do anything wrong''... The thing is, I can say we are pretty lucky to have very chill and supportive parents and he really doesn't appreciate that at all... They always tried their best to be the best parents possible and give us all they could, even though we didn't have much money. My brother the other day called my mom greedy because she asked him if he could take her to the city because she needs to go to a bank. She even offered to pay him. He insulted her whole family after it and said that she doesn't respect his time etc. My mom and me never had problems to take him to the city whenever he needed something and didn't have license... But now we need to pay and respect his time? My mom was really hurt after it. I got really mad at him and told him to freaking grow up and start thinking about what he says, but it didn't work. He doesn't see a problem. It really hurts me and I don't know what to do anymore :')
@willingFig5196
It sounds like your brother may be going through a phase of rebellion, but that doesn't excuse his behaviour. Have your parents tried sitting down with him and having a heart-to-heart conversation about their concerns and expectations? It might be helpful for them to express their feelings and set clear boundaries and consequences if he continues to act out.
In the meantime, it's important for you and your parents to prioritize your own well-being and not let your brother's behaviour consume you. Perhaps seeking counselling or therapy for yourselves if the situation becomes too overwhelming could help. Remember, your brother is responsible for his own actions and ultimately, you are not responsible for this situation.
I can imagine how frustrating and hurtful it must be to see your younger brother act in such a disrespectful and entitled manner towards your parents. It's understandable that you feel at a loss as to what to do, especially since your attempts to talk to him about his behaviour seem to have fallen on deaf ears.
You and your family are going through enough I can feel your pain and try to sit him Down and let him talk be patient. And then make him understand his own actions.... Talk like what if this was happened to him... Like imagine ure having a son and he's always busy you asked for a drive to city and your son insulets you and refuse to give lift... And you think about past whenever you used to take him to the city buying you favorite things does that hurt? Ask him something like that i am pretty much sure that he'll understand , he may try to deny , but let him he'll think and he'll change atleast a little bit with time and i hope you are taking care of yourself and your mother🥲🤍
It is hard when our minds become more complicated than just “i hungry I thirsty I sleepy” and suddenly our parents are both dumb and cumbersome. It’s hard to understand why we’re so mad at our parents, we just ARE.
It’s a part of growing up.
Maybe, since he’s already testing his wings, it’s time for him to fly? Move out on his own, or in with roommates, maybe he just needs his own space.
This is a hard economic time to find that, but even if he just starts the hunt that might simmer down some of his resentment.
@willingFig5196
This is going to be hard to hear, and even harder to say, but I am 16, and I've been similar. I grew up in foster care, so I cam from nothing. I thought I was going to be dead before adulthood until I was 11. At 13, I was adopted, and I was doing stupid stuff as well. I couldn't ever love them, bc I never had that as a kid. I didn't know how. They tried for a long time, and I still couldn't love them, no matter how hard I tried. By the time they gave up, they literally hated me. That's the last words they ever said to me. "I hate u. Ur worse than ur father. Anything u touch will die." Tell ur parents to kick him out. No money. Nothing. Tell them to stop being his parents. Send him to the streets. That'll teach him. It taught me. Praying for u, and for him.
@willingFig5196
Hello there😄😄 hey you don't have to apologize for sending long post. You can always vent here your feelings, emotions are valid💜💜⭐⭐
I really understand what you feel I have a brother like that too. A brother will give big impact to you when he did something wrong to you or your parents. He's the one you grew up with and one of people you love
You sounds like really disappointed and already give up about your brother because he always hurting you and your parents
Your brother think he's the one that always right about everything, he think he deserve to get everything he wanted but never treat people good and think it's always other people's fault or problems
It is really normal to feel hurt because your brother the one that you love hurt you. It must feel really unfair for you that he hurt you and acting he never did anything.
You feel like you wanna stop him to do all those things that hurt you and your parents. But you can't because you can't control his action or behavior.
You know what? you have a big heart💜💜⭐⭐ you're a wonderful person to caring about your brother
I'm so proud of you can face this tough time😄😄I'm one of listener here, feel free to message me to talk about this. I'm all ears 💜💜⭐⭐
I will say probably try a different approach.