Need for immediate help
I am a highly sensitive person who was born into a dysfunctional family. My father has bipolar disorder and my elder sister has borderline personality disorder. Having faced comparison, emotional neglect, and sexual harassment, I am prone to social anxiety disorder. Heavy noise and bright lights disturb my brain. During the COVID-19 lockdown, I became very depressed and traumatized. I often seek external validation from my loved ones, but it never happens. As a result, I fall into limerence, constantly fantasizing and imagining being loved, which ultimately causes me pain. My family not much supportive. Now I am 22 year old.
I have explored various spiritual practices, but they often provide only illusion and false hope. I feel completely detached from reality. I used to believe that God would provide for me, but I now realize that it was only faith. This faith has given me more illusions. Now I lost my complete hope..
No doctors nor therapist understands my problem. They just treat me for social anxiety disorder. From my childhood I faced frequent trauma and panic attack. I always suffered from severe headache. Now after healing from the illusion of limerance I get frequent panic attack and vomiting. I can't digest any food. I can't sleep 1 minutes in a day. My weight gradually loses..
@jhumpaT
You've been through so much and I'm sorry that your loved ones cannot give you the support that you crave. Fantasising is great in the moment but then it's crushing when reality steps in. Its important for you to try and socialuse even in a small group, build up your confidence, see your own value and strength and with time, you will be your own source of validation because you matter, don't forget that 💕💜
I'm sorry to hear that I'm here to chat if you need someone to confine in x
You’ve been through so much pain.. I am truly sorry. I can relate in more ways than i may like lol. But i am proof, that you can and you will get through this. I know that sounds a lot easier said than done, but i have the FAITH in you.
What you’ve been through is something that won’t heal overnight. It may not ever heal, but there are ways for you to recover.
I know this might sound terrible but unfortunately, you aren’t getting what you want and NEED from your family which is emotional support. It may be time to build your own family. It may be time to leave and start all over again.
You’re at that age where you can make decisions solely for you. And that means, you can either allow what happened to you, continue to take over your life or you can grab your trauma by the throat and tell them who’s in control.
You deserve happiness. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel seen. You deserve to feel valued. You deserve to feel appreciated.
Take control over your life now. Be selfish and don’t allow anyone to ever mess with your peace once you find it.
Get yourself out of your comfort zone and find what make you feel whole. Don’t live in your pass anymore. I believe in you, Good luck.
@jhumpaT
are you okay?Â
I feel too that I’ve searched for happiness and validation from my family, only to be let down.Â
I have only recently, since COVID, realized that when I saw my daughter do the same. I’m having to tell her that we can’t rely on family to make us happy. How hypocritical do I sound when that’s all I have relied on for happiness. I realized at a young age that I will never please certain family members, and cut them out of my life for the most part. I then feel a little sad that they dont try to be in my life, but that was the realization I needed.Â
You can’t choose family, but you can choose to surround yourself with more positivity and a better support system. I truly help you get the support system you need to feel better. I am so sorry you’re going through this.Â
@jhumpaT
As a person with multiple mental illness challenges, I understand how hard it is to find someone who really understands and wants to take you seriously. I am serious when I say this: DO NOT GIVE UP LOOKING. It took me fighting for my life for a year, calling people, telling them I was not well and I needed help. I ended up in intensive residential treatment for mental illness, and four months there changed my life. I got a great psychiatrist and a therapist that truly understood what I was going through. Don't give up on yourself. Help is out there. Resources are out there. You may just need a bit of help to find out where you can look. I'm sending out lots of positive vibes your way, hoping you will be able to find the help you need.Â
