i feel like i'm not enough for my girls
I'm the adoptive mom , of my 3 young nieces/daughters, their parents , my disowned
brother , and his wife , abused them . they got placed in foster care
and i fought to get custody for 19 months . i have custody now ...got it
in December and gave them a better Christmas than they ever got ever
i'm struggling with seeing their trauma responses hearing the terrified
screams the nightmares and mouse like quiet from them their father was
sexually abusive . both were physically abusive , and they lost custody
after Katie told a teacher on zoom .they've made some progress , with the therapy , and being in a loving home . but they're on a long road to recovery.
@funnyRaspberries3877
It is hard enough to be a parent let alone a parent of kids who went through things like you have described......... do the best you can and be there ... show up and try to have their back always .... this is all most of us can do.....
Many think they can do something to make up for a bad start ...........to avoid what is coming down the road .... those are things you can not change ...............lead by example....... try and when you mess up or fall short let them know it is Ok and pick yourself up and continue on..... they will need someone to talk to and even if you want that to be you ... you might have bias on what has happened and they may need other help.
You did a really great thing.
You're a kind hearted person.
I wish you the best of luck
@funnyRaspberries3877 you are an inspiration! Maybe even you don't fully realize how great you are. I've been fighting custody for my own children and I know how exhausting and upsetting it can be and you did it for somebody else's children! You have a very kind heart. These girls are so fortunate to have you. It's okay to feel you are not enough for them. Even I feel that way for my children sometimes. How I cope with it is at the end of each day I write all the things I've done for them, even the tiny things like a hug, when I see the long list, I feel good about myself and that I'm not neglecting them, I'm doing fine. Maybe you can try that. And also think about the alternative they would be in if you hadn't stepped in. Hugs 🤗
@funnyRaspberries3877
Non of us ever feel enough for our children. But as an adoptee myself, I can promise you that you are definitely one of the good guys, and however much you mess up, those kids will, when they grow up, remember and revere you for your generosity and self-sacrifice.
@funnyRaspberries3877
You're doing your best and I know they appreciate you. Give yourself a pat on the back cause you deserve it! Still a long way to go but what's important is all of you are moving forward for the better. I pray that those children will be able to heal from their traumas and have a normal life. Sending you love and prayers.