Emotionally Empty & Want my Life Back
I feel like an awful person for feeling this and even worse for saying it. I’m not sure where to start...I have been a caretaker for 6 people in my family (not including my children) since I was 12 years old.. I am caring for 3 ppl over 80 at the same time for the last 8 years.! They are all family! Not one other person helps or covers for me so that I can have a normal healthy life. I am truly not sure how much more I can take.....I feel awful for resenting them.
@littledexy
That's a long time to be a caregiver. I admire your patience and kindness in caring for your family members in their times of need. Especially since you have been providing care with little to no support from other family members for so long. I also understand your desire to have a life of your own. I imagine it is a struggle to find balance with two family members to care for and I can understand why you feel you have reached your limit. Compassion fatigue can be common in long term caregivers. I know many caregivers often put themselves in last place on their list of priorities. It's impossible to pour from an empty cup. Are there ways you can make time for yourself, even for a few minuets a day, to do something that nourishes or refreshes you? What might you do to care for yourself?
The few minutes a day doesn’t work anymore at all. Even a day off doesn’t help although those are already rare and going to be less now that I am hospicing my grandmother with dementia and cancer too now
Oh my. You are stronger than I am. Hopefully being here on 7 Cups will be your outlet as well as providing some kind of Talk Therapy for you.
@littledexy Bless you. If you have loved one's over 80, I believe they could qualify for receiving at home service's if they don't want to be in assisted living (nursing home). Depending on insurance, if they have Medicaid/Medicare, you could sign them up to start receiving At Home Health service's ( An Attendant or Nurse sits with your loved ones for how ever many hours allowed, they also will do household chores as well as feed, cook, bathe, dressing, administer or remind patient to take meds etc...). It could give you some kind of break and peace of mind that they are being cared for while you take care of you. I hope this helps and many hugs to you🌻
They all receive over 1500 month SSI ...which makes them unqualified for Medicaid ...which would pay for a tiny bit
@littledexy I am sorry I am not able to offer any advice as to how to improve your situation but I do know that your feelings are valid and you are not an awful person for expressing them. You are human and it is perfectly ok to feel the way you do. I go through a range of emotions caring for my husband who has ALS. Thank you for sharing. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Please don’t be so hard on yourself- you don’t resent *them*- you resent what circumstances have brought about. I find a pair of earphones and a comfy chair is a oasis of calm while being present for your family’s needs. Please take care of yourself- hugs and best wishes
You are a good person. It is normal to want our own life. You have a good heart. Bless you for all you do.