Frustrated but blessed

A few years ago I lost my dad. The heart attack finally took him on the 3rd stroke. It took me a very long time to get grounded and we’ll mentally from that. Now, in October, my mother got a stroke and was diagnosed with end stage liver damage. Throughout the years ,I was always joking about how one day I was gonna change my moms diapers. We would laugh about it together. But in a way I was always letting my mom know that I go anything ever happened to her I would be the one to help her out of the 7 children she had. I just always knew that no one else would take care of her the way I could. My mom doesn’t play favorites but I was the youngest and I lived with my mom the longest so we are really close. Flash forward to right now, I am my moms primary caregiver. I lost my job or should I say got terminated because I was in and out of hospitals for about a week and my job decided that that was enough of a reason to boot me out. So here I am with no income, sleeping on my brother couch, away from home to care for my mother. And I’m exhausted, tired, frustrated and angry. All at the same time. I feel stuck and like I can’t have a life right now. I don’t get much breaks or enough time to stay at my home so I’m just overwhelmed by it all. But I love my mother and she needs me now more than ever. How to find balance and lessen my depression from all of this is all I want at this point. My finances are killing me and I’m not gonna lie I’ve had thoughts of dying this week (although I would never). It’s been hard, but I’m praying and keeping strong.