Deciding to break off a friendship
I'm currently deciding whether to break off my friendship with my best friend of two years (they/them), here's the thing normally they're a great friend but whenever it comes to having a hard time I'll try to talk to them but they'll immediately either change the subject or make it about them most of the time, another thing is where when I avoid treating them like garbage because I'm having a bad day they will always use me as an emotional or verbal punching bag to deal with their own issues and it was today that I had enough and yelled at them for it during lunch (we're both in 12th grade). I don't know what to do because on the one hand they have been extremely kind to me since the start but then there's the times where I'm a punching bag for them and it's really conflicting me.
Any advice on what to do?
@sincereSummer140 The first step would be to talk to your friend about how this behavior makes you feel and that you dont like it and are not ok with it if youve never said anything to them about it it would be understandable for them to assume that your ok with it. There could be a few reasons why a friend would try to change the subject when you come to them with problems they might think you want to be distracted from your problems not talk about them people usually assume other people want what they themselves want so this person might be looking for the distraction they have done for you changing the subject and distract them when they tell you they are upset about something.
It sounds like this friend is angry and verbally attacking you but why? only your friend knows and you can only find out by asking them just like your friend can only know how you feel if you let them know so it sounds like there should just be a conversation about what you dont like and what your expectations are when you go to them with problems and you can ask why they are being verbally abusing and taking things out on you maybe because you dont seem to be bothered by it and have kept your feelings to yourself so they think your ok with that? now is a good time to have a serious talk with this person about all of it since you yelled at them (although they might be confused about why you yelled at them if you never did before when they did that and might think your upset about something else) but just have a conversation and tell them how you feel about that and the other things they do that are hurtful nothing can be worked out unless both people know that there is a problem that needs worked out and then if there is a lack of interest in changing behavior the other person knows is hurtful and you want them to stop (because you have told them) that is when ending a friendship would be necessary but at least let your friend know how you feel about their behavior communicate that to them and try to work things out first.
