Feeling Angry @ Friends
This last week & half hasn’t been easy on my mental in regards to my friends.
Ill do my best to condense but if you do have questions please leave them below. (scroll to last sentence for the question/advice i need)
to make a 22 year story short I have a lot of trauma. Mosg of my issues comes from being bullied from preschool (2yrs old) to my freshman year of college (18yrs old) I’ve gone to 8 different schools my whole life and one thing stayed the same which was getting bullied. Didnt matter what. Hair, Race, height, weight, the way I walk, the way i talk, my hobbies , my music taste. Everything.
SO with that being said I hate to admit but I am sensitive. But I do not want to be the friend who people have to walk on eggshells with.
Well, going back to this week, my friend group has triggered me twice and I am finding it hard not to snap and curse them out.
Ex1: my friend group and I were playing a game snaps which involved spelling. I have dyslexia and I messed up on a simple word. I caught my mistake and then asked to move on and try again. however I friend group it really funny and continue to laugh and try to figure it out what I was said. Even though I’ve asked for them to drop it and leave it alone.
I was upset so I stop playing the game and was quiet for the rest of the ride home.
after trying my best to calm down I told him about how I feel and there was not a single apology. just a “we your best friends. we would never purposely laugh at you”
I didn’t address it again because at that point I was mentally exhausted and it was my best friend‘s birthday so I didn’t want to ruin it but trying to explain how the lack of sympathy for how you made me feel really hurts.
Ex2: due to being teased by my weight and height I have body dysmorphia in the winter is particularly hard on me because I feel like all my jackets and sweaters make me look bigger than what I am. One of my friends‘ designer (who makes jackets) and I asked for his help picking a jacket because I was struggling with finding one. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why I am struggling to find a jacket or someone to help guide me in a direction. well another friend came into the chat and try to be funny/sarcastic about it’s not the jacket it’s you and “love yourself 🫶🏽“
well that piss me off to the fact that I just said thanks for the advice and I left the chat.
no one has even checked up on me to ask me why did I leave the fucking chat. it truly feels like no one cares.
I feeling hurt & angry and i know myself. I know that i will say hurtful things because I am hurt right now.
I need advice on how do I express my anger and disappointment in my friends actions and behavior without cussing them out?
@VARE99
Wait until you're calm. 🤷🏼♀️
Also, I understand that you're sensitive because of past bullying. Have you tried therapy to try to work through some of these issues? They won't go away on their own and like you said, you don't want people to have to walk on eggshells around you (and most people will not even if you want them to). The treality is, most people will not be able to understand why you're so upset by small things.
I think explaining to others is good so they can understand how to treat you and talk to you. Because it doesn't sound like they know how to do any of those things. You need to set boundaries with others so you feel comfortable around them. And if they have a problem with that then they are not the friends for you lovely.
I understand what you are going through. I’m the same way. I’ve gotten bullied three times and had other issues they have made me a really sensitive person. I struggle with things like this also. Sometimes it helps just to take a few minutes to allow yourself to process things. For me, when I feel like I’m angry or upset, I think about what I want to say and if I feel like it’s not the right thing to say or it’s like the wrong thing to say, I will just keep it to myself. It’s really just about acknowledging that it’s okay to feel upset about these things, but also reminding yourself that it won’t make you feel any better by hurting someone else. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more!
@VARE99
when things keep piling up. Being Bullied, feeling hurt. You simply start to get angry fast. It happens to many. for me. it became part of me which I want to change to something good. take care. stay strong