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VARE99
356 M Embraced 3
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts33 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceJuly 22, 2022
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Feeling Angry @ Friends
Friendship Support / by VARE99
Last post
 September 5th, 2022
...See more This last week & half hasn’t been easy on my mental in regards to my friends. Ill do my best to condense but if you do have questions please leave them below. (scroll to last sentence for the question/advice i need) to make a 22 year story short I have a lot of trauma. Mosg of my issues comes from being bullied from preschool (2yrs old) to my freshman year of college (18yrs old) I’ve gone to 8 different schools my whole life and one thing stayed the same which was getting bullied. Didnt matter what. Hair, Race, height, weight, the way I walk, the way i talk, my hobbies , my music taste. Everything. SO with that being said I hate to admit but I am sensitive. But I do not want to be the friend who people have to walk on eggshells with. Well, going back to this week, my friend group has triggered me twice and I am finding it hard not to snap and curse them out. Ex1: my friend group and I were playing a game snaps which involved spelling. I have dyslexia and I messed up on a simple word. I caught my mistake and then asked to move on and try again. however I friend group it really funny and continue to laugh and try to figure it out what I was said. Even though I’ve asked for them to drop it and leave it alone. I was upset so I stop playing the game and was quiet for the rest of the ride home. after trying my best to calm down I told him about how I feel and there was not a single apology. just a “we your best friends. we would never purposely laugh at you” I didn’t address it again because at that point I was mentally exhausted and it was my best friend‘s birthday so I didn’t want to ruin it but trying to explain how the lack of sympathy for how you made me feel really hurts. Ex2: due to being teased by my weight and height I have body dysmorphia in the winter is particularly hard on me because I feel like all my jackets and sweaters make me look bigger than what I am. One of my friends‘ designer (who makes jackets) and I asked for his help picking a jacket because I was struggling with finding one. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why I am struggling to find a jacket or someone to help guide me in a direction. well another friend came into the chat and try to be funny/sarcastic about it’s not the jacket it’s you and “love yourself 🫶🏽“ well that piss me off to the fact that I just said thanks for the advice and I left the chat. no one has even checked up on me to ask me why did I leave the fucking chat. it truly feels like no one cares. I feeling hurt & angry and i know myself. I know that i will say hurtful things because I am hurt right now. I need advice on how do I express my anger and disappointment in my friends actions and behavior without cussing them out?
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Advice On Open Relationships & How to Make Them Work
Relationship Stress / by VARE99
Last post
 August 6th, 2022
...See more recently my partner and I have been discussing opening the relationship up after having an open agreement for 3 weeks while she was a board I will say this has caught me by surprise as I thought this was just a one time arrangement. I love her and we both don’t wanna break up however I am not ready for an open relationship and I do not know what baby steps I could take to be more comfortable. we’ve talked about it and we keep going around in circles. All I know is that she feels a bit restricted in the relationship by not being to be somewhat free. and I am not completely closed to the idea.I am more comfortable with arrangements. Any advice on HOW to get more comfortable / compromising would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Vare.
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Proving to my partner I will change
Relationship Stress / by VARE99
Last post
 August 2nd, 2022
...See more Hello. I decided to join 7 Cups because I am struggling to find a way to prove to my partner that I’m going to change. I have all the trust in the world when it comes to my current partner but my actions don’t prove so due to past relationships and how many times I’ve been hurt. I do go into a very defensive shell when my partner gets frustrated with me and tries to tell me things are going to better myself. well our last big fight was very much The last of her patience she had with me. she said I have to prove that I am growing and moving past the trauma or she’s going to have to put herself first and leave. she’s done talking she’s done with the discussions I just have to show her an action I don’t want to have to wait to the next argument to show that I have changed. The question & the advice I’m asking for is how do I show her this change before the next argument?
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Proving to my partner I will change
Relationship Stress / by VARE99
Last post
 July 23rd, 2022
...See more Hello. I decided to join 7 Cups because I am struggling to find a way to prove to my partner that I’m going to change. I have all the trust in the world when it comes to my current partner but my actions don’t prove so due to past relationships and how many times I’ve been hurt. I do go into a very defensive shell when my partner gets frustrated with me and tries to tell me things are going to better myself. well our last big fight was very much The last of her patience she had with me. she said I have to prove that I am growing and moving past the trauma or she’s going to have to put herself first and leave. she’s done talking she’s done with the discussions I just have to show her an action I don’t want to have to wait to the next argument to show that I have changed. The question & the advice I’m asking for is how do I show her this change before the next argument?
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