Fight with friends
i always felt I made really amazing friends since the time I joined college everything was going so well and until one day I had a fight with one of my friend from the group..and sadly I am the sensitive one that gets hurt and affected the most and the other one doesn’t give 2 *** about anything..and I felt even more worse when not even a single person from my group asked about how I felt or even came and told me a hi..it bothered me a lot and I cried a lot about it..and then I decided to text one of my close friends from the gang and I told her that “I felt hurt when you didn’t come to me even once and asked me about how I felt and it honestly hurt me so much..and I do understand your situation that it’s awkward for you..but you didn’t bother asking me or texting me even once”.
and after all this she replies me telling “I can’t leave the other person alone too” and I again sent her another text and there was no reply to that..so I decided to tell her to call me whenever she is free and she ignored it and I am deeply hurt idk if this is a breakup or not..but my feelings were just not understood but ignored. And idk how to get over this now
@helpfulApple1311
Friends in a group tend to not want to rock the boat....... if the argument was between you and one other that is how it should stay .......
IMO when we start expecting others in group to take sides or something this will happen. i know you were just expecting a how are you doing but some view this as taking a side.....
some simply do not want to get entangled because they want the group intact.
if you want your group to be intact you would need to resolve your issue with the person whom you had a disagreement with.
@helpfulApple1311 I'm so sorry to hear about what happened, I hope you're doing better. From my experience, arguments between friends in friend groups are always complicated because it automatically makes everyone becomes involved. I would maybe wait a couple of days to see if anyone in the group checks up on you. If they don't it would indicate that it's probably best to just let go and find new friends. But if you really want to rebuild you relationship with them, you can also try to resolve the issue by talking to the person you fought with in the group. If your relationship with that person gets better then your relationship with everyone else might get better as well. Good luck!
hi,
I totally get how you feel, I’m the sensitive person in my friend group (but that’s not a bad thing). i think you have to think about how people have different priorities and they don’t match up with yours all the time. it seems like your friend just didn’t know how to deal with the situation? you totally have a right to be hurt, I would be too. some people just aren’t loyal and that might mean that they aren’t the kind of people you should be friends with. my friends can be the same way and i’ve always been disappointed but i realized i just have different standards than them. i hope this sort of helps and helps you think you aren’t alone.
@victorias445
- Greetings @victorias445
- It seems you raise an excellent point on standards and expectations for friendships. It just stands out and I can't help but note the importance that has seemingly appeared in situations. Concerning sensitivity, I love having friends that think about about emotional states and mindfulness. I think one thing that has helped explain the importance of emotions is considering personality types and speaking about topics related to mental health with my friends and family.
Thanks for the first answer on this Thread.
Hi @helpfulApple1311
I can think of times of situations like this... I know that sometimes for me it took giving my friend time before I eventually spoke with them again. And we sometimes left off as though nothing had happened or in most cases needed to talk.
Perhaps not all friend groups are structured the same and again I don't want to give advice. I know in some cases it was meaningful to look at second opinions for me when I considered situations. I know there have been times where I have regretted not giving something like friends more time to an extent but it's not always the case.
I do wonder about a number of things. As a quick note does it seem that the friends have similar or the same expectations for friendship? Also, it may sound somewhat out there as a question but has the friend group had a chance to discuss expectations?
Also what are the outcomes that you feel are the best? And what what would would get required to arrive there?
