I need to do something about this.

What do I do?

If you’ve seen my last few posts, you may already guess this post is related to my ex-friend, Orange.

As much as I don’t want to, I feel like

I’m going to have to talk to him if I want to at least *tolerate* him for the sake of the friend group. Not necessarily liking him but just having to deal with him essentially.

The biggest problem is that I’m still too stubborn. I’ve tried to talk about my feelings many times and each time he repeated the same behavior or said he would change only to not do so.

The only time he made an effort is when I blocked him which made me wonder why I have to block you for you to change.

Then when I unblocked him because I thought things were getting better, he turns around and repeats the same behavior eventually leading to me ending the friendship (and him acting Buddy-Buddy towards me even after I said I wanted nothing to do with him). I had to message him again asking him to leave me alone which I felt should’ve explained itself.

The reason why I’ve had him blocked for so long this time is because honestly? I want him to reach out this time. I want him to apologize. If he wants to make any effort saving this friendship, shouldn’t he be the one to apologize?

The other part is because we met through a roleplay server and since this group has been around for so long, Orange and I have character connections from before our argument that we stopped doing as much because of this. Weirdly enough, I miss those connections more than I do our actual friendship. If not worth it for the friendship, at least so others don’t have to struggle with our connection.

But at the same time, I wonder if it’s worth swallowing my pride and just talking to him. Not like I have anything else to lose from it, right?

Or do I just stay in this cycle of waiting for him to reach out first?