Trying to make friends in my area.
I have had a hard time meeting people in my area. I decided to try Bumble BFF a dating app that also has a feature for just meeting friends.
After filling out my profile the app automatically posted it and sent to a list of people it thought might be good match for me. Most were 20 year or more my junior, an hour away or i could not tell why they were a match for me because we have nothing in common. Many had Beer, Wine, or other alcohol as an interest. As a sober alcoholic i eliminated them. People that didn't fill in enough information on their profile to make a determination also were eliminated. I don't know how many I left swiped on but I ran out of candidates. I could have matched on some of them to ask questions to get to know them, but the app makes me feel obligated.
I don't think this will work out.
@Gettingbettertoday hey there handsome ❤ well at least you tried. Maybe there are other sites that can offer the same thing. Making friends in this day and time is not easy. I hope you will get some great friends soon ❤ you always have us ❤ we are all here for you ❤
@Gettingbettertoday Have you tried Meetup.com It’s for people getting together based on interests like hiking, photography, etc. It’s also free (depending on the group, some groups have fees to cover the cost of their spot on meetup). You could even create your own meetup group.
@FlatenedByLife
I have gone to board gaming meet ups. They were clickish were everybody there had a group already.
Did you sit alone in the cafeteria in High School? I did.
@Consumer007
I sat with a small group of outsiders.
@Gettingbettertoday
I am not a big believer in some app algorithm however i know that the questions and limits in those apps does not give you a full view of person....
i have met people in chat groups and sometimes the person i thought the least of at first glance was a person i clicked the most with... in making friends first impressions are not always right
@toughTiger6481
Part of it is me. I am getting matched with men that own their own businesses or others that are high achiever's. I am not a high achiever so it makes me feel like i, a 5 is getting matched with the 10's. To make match both parties have to check the other. I guess i don't want the rejection.
@Gettingbettertoday
I get that totally but honestly you do not know unless you try....
So many seem to look at people like resumes and do not see or get deeper into what makes them tick had many friends over the years some had not much in common but a mutual acquaintance or place of employment etc...
I learn and grow so much more with a friendship like that .......over one that i feel we match up better (on paper or in my mind).
I take every person i come into repeated contact with as either a lesson or a blessing .... i never know who will pop into my life and give me a huge aah-ha moment .... but most who do were not people i thought it would be.
@toughTiger6481
There is not enough information on a profile to get to know someone even if they fill out the entire thing. People are people but people with money like to do things that take money like going to music festivals or travel. I have had a 40% reduction in my household income over the last year so i am very limited in how i can spend my limited funds.
@Gettingbettertoday
I’m in agreement with ToughTiger. I would also add that rejection, if it happens isn’t bad if you look at the process of trying as a learning opportunity. When you meet someone new you are developing more social skills.
People may not be a match in terms of vocation but they all share one thing in common - the experience of being human. We all struggle with our inner emotional life. We all usually respond in positive ways to attention. So being curious about someone and asking questions engages them in conversation. And you may be surprised, they might find they like you despite any vocational or avocational differences. The opportunity to interact with someone can be pleasant whether or not it develops into a friendship.
@Gettingbettertoday
The Stupid App matched me with someone in NY. Hey that's only a 15 hour drive.
Honestly i am relieved. If i had matched someone i would not know what to do.
@Gettingbettertoday Are there any sort of free activities in your area like funded classes you could take to learn something, or some volunteering you could do to meet like-minded people?