dating my friend’s ex boyfriend.

@dragonfruitlady95

It sounds like this is already a long term relationship. A little late to be considering this. Ultimately, you don't owe anyone anything. You can date whoever you like. If your friend was unhappy about it, they probably would have brought it up a long time ago.

@dragonfruitlady95

Agree with the above comment. If you were dating each other for many years already, why are you suddenly considering whether it’s right or wrong now? Did your friend suddenly have a problem with your relationship? How did she feel about it at the time?

If you and your partner are happy together, that’s what should matter. Of course people should resolve their feelings for each other, prior to moving on with other people. We should have a consideration (as friends) for their feelings - Such as how they might feel uncomfortable to see someone they once loved being intimate with their friend. That could complicate the friend dynamic and put stress on the friendship especially if the breakup wasn’t amicable.

But people are never ‘property’. It is arrogant to think any person can dictate who we are ‘allowed’ to date. In the end, we must decide our relationships for ourselves, and our friends [should] want us to be with the people that make us happiest; even if that person happens to be their ex.

CatsInTheCradle

Since you asked for an opinion. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Dating someone that a family member or a friend has been with should be automatically off limits. I wouldn't personally be friends with or associate with someone who would do something like that.

@dragonfruitlady95

ik you can pick and choose who you love but these relashionships dont tend to end well

as fro your firend she may not have had the heart ot say anythign but it could be soemthing that cuases problems later on

@dragonfruitlady95 If it was me, I would prefer that the friend told me and talked to me before dating the guy. I was in a situation where I had confided in my friend a lot about dating this guy who was a mutual friend and how upset I was things didn't work out and then they started dating without telling me. So I have been on that side and felt the betrayal of it. I think if my friend had just told me and said she was really into him and had feelings for him it would have been easier to wish her well.

However, in your situation it seems kind of late after the fact. I don't really know what is going on, if your friend is stirring up drama or feeling hurt. If it was me, a heartfelt message saying you value the friendship but also are really in love with this guy and didn't mean to hurt the friendship would go a long way. If the friend is still jealous and possessive after that, maybe it's not a healthy friendship.