Advice please

TLDR: Just asking about how I can be a better friend and stop driving people away because of my poor self image issues.

This is my first time on a thread, and I honestly don't know if this question is better for a place like this or a therapist, but I've had bad experiences wth therapists in the past, so here I am lol- To add context, I have a poor self image (that I've been trying to work on) and I am pretty sure I am not neurotypical (undiagnosed as of right now). I've always had issues making friends and keeping them, scared of doing the wrong thing or saying something to make them uncomfortable, since I cannot pick up on social cues or things like that for the life of me. My cautiousness and self-deprecating mindset mix together into a self sabotage kind of thing, where I either distance myself completely from people I want to be around to make sure I "never hurt them", or I am constantly thinking they hate me and I ask if I did anything wrong until they get annoyed with me or I basically apologize for existing because I often resort to self deprecation. I do all of this and then wonder why nobody wants to be around me, and I'm just stuck in this vicious cycle of self loathing and entitlement. I know this is more asking about how to be a better person rather than friendship stuff, but I was just wondering if anyone has advice on how to change my view on myself, how to be more confident in understanding other people, how to get out of my head and stop thinking everyone is out to get me, or just how to be a better friend so I can have some and keep them around? If I'm overstepping any boundaries for this thread, let me know and I can take this down. Thank you to anyone who read through this ♡