Can ignoring be counted as trauma?
So for the past few years I've been ignored a lot by people. This can be online, or even irl. It hurt deeply, but my problem is the pain won't go away. Like it got to the point where it was physically painfully after I had been ignored for a while, and now that pain triggers if I'm "ignored" for even a minute. I know this isn't healthy of course, and I'm trying to talk to people and get healthy interactions again, but it doesn't seem to heal the pain from before. I don't know what to do. I just want people to talk to me. Consistently. Not get my hopes up and then ignore me again.
@HidaYasu
If they'd allow users to have a private chat i'd totally talk to you consistently on here. I absolutely feel your pain. I'm in a similar situation and know what it feels like.
@eternallyworthless
Yeah it bites lol hopefully we both get some friends soon.
@HidaYasu
Perhaps you could define the ignoring issue ....
I think it may be you are too much for them ? i knew a friend whom seemed fine but got clingy fast and wanted everyday to be a do this together thing and people were NOT ready for that .... it is easy to overdo it if you have been lonely etc... but this is a big NO for many...
What does friendship and companionship look like for you. ? .... activities a couple times a week or every single day ?
if people hang out for a bit then pull away you might need to find out Why.... is there a past friend you can ask it could be a leaning experience to see if you come on too strong or such to maintain a friendship.
@toughTiger6481
I think I just make boring conversation lol
@HidaYasu
Easy fix ..
LET others talk many Love to talk about themselves .... so the more they talk then more you observe and come up with other entertaining points.
@toughTiger6481
Lol well you're right about the first part, people do love to talk about themselves. My issue was that people tended to talk over me with each other, so I couldn't seem to get in a word edgewise.
@HidaYasu Behind every ignorance is another ignorance that we might be ignoring
A therapist told me that actions that hit our core wounds hurt the most deeply.
She gave the analogy of a shape sorter toy. If you get a host of shapes but not the holes for them to go through you might not notice, but if being perceived to be ignored is the right shape it's going straight through the hole and will hurt you.
If you were ignored as a child or didn't have your needs met, people not getting back to you, might hit harder.
I think people 'ignore' for different reasons, some may be online but doing something else, or the phone, decided to put in a boundary and only message back at certain times.
People you feel you can trust perhaps you can ask why they haven't gotten back to you.
I think miscommunication can be the biggest cause of pain in friendships
@Kaydee860
Your therapist seems right on the money. This "core" wound of mine is the biggest problem and I can't help but be pained at that "perceiving". You're right and I also think miscommunication is a big problem in friendships. The problem is I know the reason they don't talk to me is because they're talking to other people. I confirmed it before assuming. So my problem isn't necessarily they're outright "ignoring" me, it's more just that they like other people more and would rather talk to/spend time with them.