Confused
I'm confused what I should do in life I'm currently pursuing Chartered Accountant it's going to be my 4th attempt this may and I'm not studying for last few weeks. I keep scrolling on YouTube uk anime, manga, manhwa, web series and now even movies YouTube funny videos even p**n this has been my daily life for honestly quite a few months or years I have tried to visit a temple, tried meditation although I feel strongly that meditation will one day help maybe I just didn't try consistently for enough days, also tried changing things like how I think how I perceive things tries to see things differently and a lot more now I am not even sure if I should continue my CA study or not I thought about I will quit if I don't come close to passing the exam, won't quit if I pass and if I kind come close to passing the exam then I will again think if I should continue or not but the way things are going I feel like I won't come close and I will have to quit CA and I seem to think even if I fail I will just ace it on the next attempt like delaying as if thinking let's enjoy in this attempt be lazy I will study in the next attempt so I have been in these losing battles for years now What should I do? (probably study but still what do you think? ) btw I failed last attempts becoz of my suicidality some important people left which was kinda the cause I have been trapped in this lazy cycle. So any advice or something?
@Wasted456 hi sweetie 💗 that's a tough cycle to be stuck in, bless you 🙁 do you think you have depression and that's keeping you unmotivated?? If so I think a trip to the doctor might be a good first step💖 you know they are called cell phones for a reason, they imprison you. Perhaps a break away some where nice might give you the energy to study or change things. Also going cold turkey helps sometimes. Gives you a giant tiny hug 💗💗 good luck with everything 💗
Yeah overall it really is this stupid phone that's the cause. Well I tried to reach out to a doctor but the clinic was closed and then my mom found out that I went there so she told me not to go to the psychiatrist. And no during these last 4-5 years I have been to many trips with my family but I feel like family is the problem as well and idk much about solo travel tbh also if I do go to a solo trip idk what to say to my parents what about my study maybe it's just an excuse coz I have never done that and I'm scared. And yeah I think I have depression that's keeping me this way. And yeah ur right about it being a cell phone. Well I have tried cold turkey tbh many times too uk sometimes I fail but sometimes the day was just so good or something incredible happened and I relapse because of joy which may sound weird but these things have been my emotion regulator and im trying my self to cut it off but idk it's always up and down kinda thing. Still trying ***. Thanks for the hug which sounds stupid to me sorry about that but yeah I get the gesture thanks anyway. 👍 same to you.