I need to rant and some advice

It's been almost 8 months since a very painful friendship breakup I just can't seem to get over. I can't stop replaying everything in my head, everything that went wrong and all the ways I could've saved a very important friendship. I've always struggled with loneliness and found it really hard to connect and keep in touch with people. Most of the interactions I've had with people felt so awkward and always led nowhere. But with them it felt so different, there was never an awkward pause and they made it all feel so easy for me. I suddenly was able to have long conversations and even speak to new people when I had them around. Being their friend opened up so many opportunities to meeting even more people and get closer to having the social life I've craved for so long. I've never met anyone quite like this, everyone wants to be around them, everyone is so drawn to them.I always found their natural magnetism deeply fascinating. It felt like maybe if I hang around them long enough some of it might rub off onto me and I'd be able to become even half as charismatic. We applied together for the same college and we are in the same class. At the beginning of the year I felt so proud to be their friend, I really liked that people saw us together all the time, knew that we had our own inside jokes, and that we've known eachother for 2 years and applied together. I know it probably sounds strange but ever since I was young I wished I had a friend like that. Until that moment I was always the one who was left out, didn't get the reference, wasn't in on the joke and wasn't there when anything woth telling happened. For the first time I was on the odher side. It's strange to think about now, I'm not even sure how close we actually were. After our falling out it all went downhill. (Right after I made two more friends I also lost just as fast but I won't talk about that now because this is getting really long already) Our friendship ended abruptly after an argument and I can't stop thinking about it ever since. I still had to see them every day at college and it hurt so much to act like complete strangers. They clearly were not really affected by it, they have so many friends and so many people who love being around them. They immediately found someone else and look so happy with their new friend group. It's like I never even existed. But I miss them so much still, even after 8 months. I will start my next year of college in October and I will inevitably have to see them every single day yet again. I thought it would be much easier to get over but it wasn't true. I'm back to where I was before, I'm lonely, I struggle to make friends and every conversation I have leads absolutely nowhere. Sometimes I dream that we're talking again, about door they opened for me being open once more.

I'm just not sure what to do, how to cope because at the moment I cannot afford therapy. If you have any advice it would be really helpful. I have left out so many important events and many details from this story because it's already very long. But if you have any questions that could help for the advice I will answer. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this far.