I need to talk.
I’m confused, but let me explain: nearly three years ago, I had a group of three friends. Over time, I grew closest to one of them named Sunny, whom I now consider a sister. Everything was fine in 2024, but in 2025, Sunny fell into a mild depression, and I was there to take care of her. Our bond as sisters grew even stronger as we came to understand each other's fears and dreams. Due to some things I did that I now regret, Sophia—another member of the original group of three—distanced herself to spend more time with her boyfriend.
Then 2026 arrived, and everything seemed fine until a girl named Mary joined us. She had been through an overwhelming experience at her former school where her friends abandoned and judged her. At first, everything seemed okay and I wanted to help, but eventually, everything started to revolve around Mary. Now, Danielle (from the original group) has become very close friends with her.
A few weeks ago, we had a talk where we spoke with total honesty, and I told them what I thought about Mary. Danielle then went and showed Mary everything I had written. She didn't warn me or say anything, and I feel betrayed because I always trusted that whatever we discussed would stay within the group (meaning Sunny, Danielle, and me). I don't want to see her, and I don't want to hang out with her or Mary. Sunny is the only one who has taken the trouble to understand me. I feel horrible because I truly trusted Danielle.
I look to talk this with someone, a specialist, a friend here, but nothing, I need help.
Chào Sirius09, mình là Sea. Đọc câu chuyện của bạn, mình cảm nhận được một sự phản bội thực sự đau lòng. Cảm giác tin tưởng một người để rồi họ đem bí mật của mình làm vũ khí chống lại mình là một cú sốc rất lớn.
Mình chỉ muốn nói rằng, việc bạn cảm thấy tồi tệ lúc này là hoàn toàn bình thường. Nhưng đừng để hành động của Danielle khiến bạn nghi ngờ giá trị của bản thân. Đôi khi, sự thật phơi bày theo cách đau đớn nhất lại là lúc để chúng ta sàng lọc lại những mối quan hệ thực sự xứng đáng.
Mình ở đây nếu bạn muốn trút bỏ thêm gánh nặng này. Bạn không đơn độc đâu!
Awww you're really cute, thank you so much ❤️
@Sirius09
I can completely understand that you feel betrayed if you thought you were sharing something in confidence and Danielle didn't keep it confidential.
Unfortunately sometimes people don't meet with our expectations and it can cause lots of pain and upset.
Over time I've learnt that people are people. Some are easier to get along with than others and the only thing I can change in that equation is myself. Its not exactly fair, but it is the way it is.
I heard an interesting definition a year ago. The idea was that gossip is any conversation about a person when they aren't present. It wasn't what I thought was gossip. And I don't think it's what many people define as gossip. But the more I think on it, the more interesting I find it. It's a hard definition to live up to. I find myself talking about people when they aren't present more often than I realised, but I'm beginning to think it's a good policy. Even if the person you are talking to can be relied on to keep it confidential, there's always the risk someone might overhear in passing or walk in unexpectedly.
And I ask myself, what does talking to someone about someone else actually achieve? Making myself feel better at someone else's expense? Allowing me to feel I've "done something about it", without actually doing anything about it. Because if I really wanted to do something about it, wouldn't I go and talk to the person themself?
The problem is, no one taught me how to have those difficult conversations. I've had to learn it myself by trial and error. It's not the easiest way and it takes a lot of courage. But I've found it worthwhile.
What about you? Did you get any training in difficult conversations? Do you find it easy to implement?
Hello, well, no, it's really my first problem of this type, yes, I had betrayals before, when I was a kid, maybe in fourth grade, but this is my first case like this, you're very intellectual, thanks for your definition
Hey Sirius09,
First of all, I’ll say you took a bold step to narrating how you felt about the situation. You are courageous.
Friendship tolerance is great but I’ll say for a fact that sometimes we expect too much from people and that weighs us down when the expectations isn’t met but eventually, we will come to realize that it’s not that way for all.
It happens and funny as it sounds, we have to move on to greater things. Reach out to Sunny and keep your communication with her. Forgive Danielle and move on but don’t express yourself to her so deeply so it doesn’t hurt you.
With this, you are able to come to a conclusion which might not be fast but slow and steady. You will find it easier sooner🫶🏾