Maybe another life of another being who's trying to prove himself.
This is my first thread. Maybe just a trial. Maybe just my words.
I live a life where I wake up, eat, study sleep and repeat. Had a friend but he's into work, busy, working night shifts. Tried talking with mom and dad but somehow couldn't take conversations further. Tried befriending people , most tried rotating their faces away or passing some lame comments and leave as if I never existed. It feels justified to be like this inferior everywhere.
I never wanted to speak all this but somehow my mind just wanted to.
People always say they are busy, no one is every too busy. Maybe it's just that, I ain't really important. So maybe my presence is not valued. Maybe that's why in age of 18 also , I could only hear bad things about relationships and saw people just keeping connections with me for rather transient times
@exuberantSail6076
This is what im hearing from your post:
"Im feeling very lonely"
"I dont feel good enough"
Its a really hard place to be in and can understand this.
Think of times where you felt uplifted - How so? Was it a gesture? A time when someone said thank you?
If not I say thank you to you - honesty is a strength :)
Maybe honesty is. But in my life, honesty took away things from me. Honesty is the best policy, but tough decisions come with tough situations.
That inferior mentality wasn't developed in a day, it was made to develop piece by piece, as is someone was trying to turn me into a person whom they wanted me to be.
Maybe that's why today I am like this. I tried befriending people by fitting into their shoes, nothing worked. Thank you, only for studies, maybe not ever for my personality. My words are taken as shallow, maybe easy just as rocks can be thrown into a mirror like pond
@exuberantSail6076 yes babies are born without a care of where they pee right
We learn ways to cope to avoid punishment
But thing is, sometimes punishments are forced, clearly, in my case. In that tender age of 10, had to see a family breaking apart, relationships drift away, childhood too never always without a fight.
Maybe it's my destiny to see all bad first
@exuberantSail6076
you feel stuck in the heart ☹️
What more to say man, maybe it's just ,
The wound is the place where light enters
Hey there
@frankApple6854 hello - community sessions are in community rooms - you click groups and it’s accessible there
:)
Hey there
Just joining
@exuberantSail6076
Hi, I relate.
I never thought I mattered. I can painfully recollect the “turning away” that people do. Lame comments because nobody knows what to say to me … Yeah, I know those well.
Sometime around your age, I got the idea that maybe I’m just misunderstood … and that I’m destined to live this way forever.
I never found a community to like this one. (I had Scientologists encouraging me to take a personality test, so that they could prove how messed up I was, and how I needed their $300 introductory program to make me a better person.)
I'm glad shared what's on your mind today.
I suggest you keep coming here, to 7Cups … and perhaps we’ll speak again.
Maybe thing is, it's always hard to gulp everything and still be okay.
When the world starts misunderstanding you just because they think you have attitude, it's always hard to make everyone understand that no I ain't like that.
Maybe that's why being called a liability by a friend, a girl, felt stinged. The psychological tests tell I am a perfectionist and that I am severely introverted. But basically the test couldn't figure this out that I was like this as everywhere that inferior tag came along.
@exuberantSail6076
Hey, I'm an introvert too! Do you relate to any of these characteristics: https://web.archive.org/web/20171127045644/http://playfullytacky.com/2014/07/16/things-you-should-know-about-introverts/ ?
Are you still in school? Where do you work?
Sorry ... I put in the wrong link. Let's try again ...
Actually I just passed out of class xii.
In my life there are academic victories but maybe not personal victories.
Maybe it's not a flex but I just wanna share:-
Got a silver merit in science Olympiad
Secured a state level rank in spelling bee
Got 10 perfect cgpa in class X
Got 9.8 cgpa in class xii (science stream)
Got a good percentile in both medical and engineering entrance exams
Have a senior diploma in fine arts
Even made a who's a millionaire coded game through python
Maybe all these achievements just highlight My academic life but very honestly that personal achivement is less.
This is a reply to the post you gave
Also from that link I understood, I match with some qualities but I ain't totally a rooted introvert, I am just shut as I have seen ignorance of my words or maybe usage of my pure heart for long. I just think one thing, maybe education and degrees can build my career but even after that, can my personal life change atleast? Who knows, maybe it's my destiny to cure people while having wounds
Actually I just passed out of class xii.
In my life there are academic victories but maybe not personal victories.
Maybe it's not a flex but I just wanna share:-
Got a silver merit in science Olympiad
Secured a state level rank in spelling bee
Got 10 perfect cgpa in class X
Got 9.8 cgpa in class xii (science stream)
Got a good percentile in both medical and engineering entrance exams
Have a senior diploma in fine arts
Even made a who's a millionaire coded game through python
Maybe all these achievements just highlight My academic life but very honestly that personal achivement is less.
This is a reply to the post you gave
Also from that link I understood, I match with some qualities but I ain't totally a rooted introvert, I am just shut as I have seen ignorance of my words or maybe usage of my pure heart for long. I just think one thing, maybe education and degrees can build my career but even after that, can my personal life change atleast? Who knows, maybe it's my destiny to cure people while having wounds
You can definitely look at someone and think ok they’ve got it all together look at their achievements- we are in a race of comparison.
Well done on your achievements sail 😊
@exuberantSail6076
Thank you for sharing these academic victories. I am very impressed 🙂
“can my personal life change at least?”
I think it is possible for your personal life to change. The image of your personal life may not be what you expect to be in the end, but I think it can change for the better.
“Who knows, maybe it's my destiny to cure people while having wounds” - I believe many healers cure people while having wounds.
Man why only a smile. You were writing something, man
@exuberantSail6076
I am sorry … Did we have a miscommunication? I did not have anything more to write.
Are doing okay, today?
Yeah man. I am today. Studies help remove these a bit.
Yes not that it’s acceptable to poke - people do this to test a boundary those who do
Maybe man just maybe. But thing is somehow still personal life doesn't change much