Need support
So I came to my girlfriend about one of my freinds touching me weirdly and I didn’t like it and that its been going on for awhile she asked why I never said anything (Im lesbian) i said i thought they would think that I would like her and I was scared if she was going to be sad or mad at me so she persuaded me to say something and I did but my friend said why didn’t I say anything sooner and said that she is straight and is in a three year relationship I never brought up anything about her liking me or anything like that so that put me down that she said that then she said that it made her feel bad and like she’s been assaulting me for months i didn’t know what to say so i asked my girlfriend to help and she said that my friend is getting mad that i'm placing boundaries i say that and then my friends call me all into a group chat to talk about it and when she was talking it sounded like to me she was mad because I told her I was uncomfortable and she said that everyone in the friend group is uncomfortable because i said something i just shut up because its all my fault that i didn’t say anything sooner i wish i could express my feelings and stop putting others feelings above mine but i think its because when my mom died i stopped talking about my feelings and bottled them up so now when i really want to talk about my feelings i cant i have no idea how to anymore i need help i cant understand why i cant be better and not hurt the people i care about any help is appreciated
@amicableSpring9231 I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of complicated feelings—between your friend, your girlfriend, and your own emotions from the past. It's understandable that you didn't speak up earlier, especially if you're used to bottling things up. What you're feeling is valid, and it's important to recognize that you're not at fault for how others react to your boundaries.
Your friend's reaction - feeling bad or defensive - is a common response when people realize they've unintentionally hurt someone. It can feel overwhelming, but that doesn't make your boundaries any less important. You didn't do anything wrong by expressing discomfort, even if it came later.
It seems like the loss of your mom has deeply impacted your ability to share your feelings, which makes sense. Losing someone so important can lead to a fear of expressing emotions because of the fear of burdening others or getting hurt again.
This is a process, and it’s clear you’re trying to be thoughtful and kind toward everyone involved. Give yourself some grace as you work through it. You deserve to be heard and supported.
