Self sabotaging, detaching and dissociating
Honestly, I’ve always been extremely talkative and active of socials but now I’ve been so distant unless irl and am still so talkative.
When it comes to my friendships though, I cannot process fully the compliments I’m given and don’t truly realise how
much I’m cared for. It’s so strange but I’m so desensitised and I feel awful. I care but was questioned if I really did and if I’m saying I do without truly meaning it. I care, I promise I do. I just don’t show that I do cuz I don’t know how other than through words. I feel so bad that my friends care, only for me to not process them caring. I hate that I am this way and realised I’m detached. But I don’t know how to stop or how to navigate this when I don’t even look after myself properly. I’ve just been self sabotaging a lot and dissociating, living life on autopilot and now that I’m faced with how that is not rlly a healthy lifestyle, idk how to even fix the mess I’ve created
Hey. That sounds tough. You know what one of the most beautiful things about any healthy relationship is? You don't have to be fully healed or always give something back right away. Right now, maybe your friends are in a good space in life and showing you they care so much comes naturally to them. You mustn't compare. The fact that you're trying your best to appreciate them says enough. I know it hurts, and the guilt does creep in, but you deserve lots of love, especially when ur hurting, even if it's hard to give it back in the same amount. Kindness in this world isn't about give and take, acts of true kindness are done without expectation. However, if you still feel a little sad about this, remember it's okay to let yourself be and take ur time. Moreover, I'm sure when you are thriving and healed you too, shall naturally show others lots of care. Right now, just take the next step of love towards urself, no matter how small that may be.
Hii. Thank you so so much for your reply, and I’m sorry for replying so late lol, I haven’t been on here for a while. The thing is, that is the case for most of my friends but one of them in particular, who is also my younger cousin, worries me the most. I’ve spoken to him about it and have like become a little more active but it’s hard not to compare cuz I messed up by not speaking to him when he only had me to speak to and realised how bad my mental health and lifestyle truly is and how that’s part of the reason why I feel this way.
Nevertheless, I rlly appreciate your reply and I’ll refrain from getting into detail w my situation cuz it’s still ongoing 😭😭 I truly am so thankful for your reply, it helped a lot tbh, and I’ll try to take that advice and start showing love to myself. I wish you well, and again, thank you.
Heyy. I understand how hard it can be to be there for others when ur going through so much. I'm so glad my words made you feel a little better. I'm really happy that ur starting to show love to yourself because you deserve it. Take care.
Hiii. Yeah, doing that sort of blew up in my face again 😭😭 but thank you so much for the advice, I’m still so grateful for it and thank you for your reply this time round too, I needed the reminder again. Tbh, I’m still working on slowly implementing your advice but THANK YOUU 😭 I hope you take care too.
