Struggling to Build Friendships in a Small Mountain Village

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping to share a bit of my story and hear from others who might relate.

I am 35 years old and have dual nationality french and English.

I work fully remotely and live in a small village in the French Alps. I moved here about three years ago, after going through a difficult time in my life—I was jilted at the altar and needed space and peace to heal. The village is located in a ski resort, so it’s very lively in winter and also quite active in summer, but during the off-seasons (April–June and September–December), it's extremely quiet. Most businesses close, and many locals leave for holidays. Only around 150 people live here year-round.

When I first moved here (in September2023), I didn’t see another person for about three weeks. At the time, that solitude felt like a blessing. After a while, I befriended the only local café owner who kept his place open during the off-season. Through him, I met his best friend, and that person is now my boyfriend. We live together and are very happy.

That said, I’m finding it very difficult to make close friends—especially female friends. Besides my boyfriend and the café owner, I haven’t really been able to build a social circle. It seems like many locals, having grown up together, aren't very open to newcomers, which I understand to an extent, but it’s tough.

Last year, I took a weekend winter job at the local ski school—on top of my full-time remote job—just to have more social contact. During the winter, I really enjoy life: I have my partner, I go out for coffee with colleagues, and I feel socially fulfilled. But once the season ends, everyone leaves, and I go back to spending a lot of time alone. I keep in touch with some colleagues, but since we all work short seasonal contracts, those connections are hard to maintain long-term.

I’ve spoken to my boyfriend about this, but most of his friends are from work in another ski resort and as he has always lived here and his family have been in the village for generations he's never had to deal with living in a new place and trying to fit in. I’ve made efforts to reach out to local women, but it feels like there’s little interest in forming new friendships.

I guess I’m just feeling the weight of adult loneliness. I love the flexibility of my remote work and the peace of where I live, but I deeply miss having a good female friend to talk to. I’d love to hear from others who’ve dealt with similar situations—especially in small or tight-knit communities—and how you’ve navigated them.

Thanks for reading.