Vent

He likes to offer me a space to be honest with my feelings. I'm honest with him despite my trust issues.

My honesty is turned into a blame shifting session. Nothing that hurts me matters. "You take my [hurtful] words like an attack," "you also made me feel hurt". Nothing matters, it's all an act. I ask him if my feelings matter, he says yes, of course. The  next day he tugs at my heart and says I'm exaggerating: "it was only one damn word".

He hates my dissociation ("All you do is dissociate whenever something happens"), my depression ("We haven't seen each other in months, recover quickly so *I* can finally see you"), my boundaries ("It doesn't bother you if I [coercive words, otherwise I'll end up being sorry for saying no]"), my friends ("You're happier with them than you're with me, right? I hate your friends, I hate them, I hate them."), my personality ("You're too serious, it's making me feel anxious and like you don't love me"), my need for space ("I don't know since when you needed space from me, but whatever," "I'm too controlling, I can't help it").

I don't matter.