friendss

i havent had irl friends for a long while and still dont, ppl dont hate me or think im weird ***? maybe i was a little odd back then but now im just..home. i dont get alot of chances to make friends and i am and always have been socially anxious. the more i grow up i kind of just learnt to deal with the feelings of my.. idk what to call it cause im not diagnosed but im defo not shy. socially anxiousness? and its hard as ***. i remember when i was in school i had to do a group project.. i didnt even participate in it idk what happened to it but i felt my face get warm and my eyes too, my breathing got all fast and i started crying, no one rlly noticed and nothing was even happening but just the thought of talking to them had me panicking💔 now im at an age where i have to get a life or end up alone and idk how to do it. ppl online like me? im not a bad person.. is it cause im always socially anxious people dont rlly..try idk if ima find love or friends anymore😭 sorry for the yap idek if heres a good place to put all this.