how do you heal from something that didn't exist?

about a month ago, i broke away from a friendship. this was an online friendship but it meant the world to me. she meant the world to me. i tried to communicate how i felt in the relationship, and how i felt she handled situations, but she wouldn't respond. she'd sit in a damn vc talking about dnd. nothing wrong with that but i knew she saw my messages, and would text other people basically mocking me.

i gave her a chance to explain. i told her, if she didn't talk to me, it would be over. she didn't even try. so, i ended it between us. for weeks after she'd go on twitter and tweet *** about me, constantly. it hurt so bad to see what she was saying.

for years, people had told me she was a bad person. i was so blinded by her 'care' and 'love' and her influence that i didn't care. i lost someone special because of it. we're on good terms now, and he helped me realize i was being (possibly) manipulated and influenced.

now, today. i thought i was okay. i thought i got closure. but i found out throughout our whole friendship, she was pretending. pretending to be someone who didn't exist. for years, i loved something that wasn't real.

for years, i put love and care, into a joke. i vented to her, so many times, and i trusted her. i thought that through everything, she would be the one person i could trust. guess not though.

someone, please. tell me what to do, because i'm so lost. i'm grieving something that i'm not even sure mattered. i don't know what parts were genuine. anything will help. i just need advice.