Deep Thoughts: Friends and Sadness
A really important part of being friends is that we can be sad together.
Thoughts?
@jesusredeemedme2425 I'm sad
@Tinywhisper11 a few nights ago I had a nightmare, for really scared and upset. I write a forum thread. I've had lots of kind replys. But being upset is not good to show all the time, someone in a chat room last year, told me people shouldn't trauma dump on others, and so now I try to stay happy, instead
@Tinywhisper11
Some people can be really un-empathetic... Please don't take what everyone says too deeply to heart.
If you are struggling, it's super healthy to share your feelings, ask questions, vent, etc. You will not heal if you keep it all inside. Please keep sharing!!! We love you and want to help you <3
That being said, the other side of the spectrum are people who are basically Eeyore. I've been that way. If everything someone says is depressing, it can be draining to the other person. I've had people like that in my life too... It's really hard to be friends with people who only speak in complaints.
It's finding that happy medium, that balance, between healthy sharing and unhealthy oversharing. Does that make sense? <3
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm discouraging you!!! I'm not! I really want you to open up and share <3 It will help you feel better, feel loved and validated, and ultimately help you heal! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 ❤❤ no I understand what your saying ❤I've come across a few eeyores in the group chat rooms, so yeah I understand ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Eeyores need to find a little bit of Tigger in them. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
The super cool thing is that we won't remember the sadness linked to the time. It'll feel like a good memory because we were together.
@Torean
Great point <3
Or we will remember the sadness, but it will be buoyed by sweet memories of people coming together and loving each other deeply <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 @Torean sweet memories, friendship and icecream😋
@Tinywhisper11
It's the little things. 🥰 Which are also the things we could never regret
@Torean
My current mental health crisis is made sweeter because of you guys loving me. <3 <3 <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Likewise. 🥰 I'm not in a full on crisis though I guess... At least not when I've slept enough. I still feel a lot better though, and glad I'm doing the same for you. ❤️
@Torean
You guys give me something to look forward to. <3
Yeah... I think that's a major part of my poor mental health. I have horrible sleep habits and don't sleep enough... Also I've found that struggling to breathe with my asthma is (unconsciously) causing me to hyperventilate at work, which is somehow causing sensory overload. I think if I get that addressed, it will help a lot...
@jesusredeemedme2425
Definitely get that addressed. I have a lot of anxiety at work sometimes. Not sure if I have asthma on top of it, but anything close to what you're talking about is not fun to deal with.
Both of you give me something to look forward to, and I'm not used to that, so it's doubly amazing. ❤️ I miss you Tiny, you've been quiet lately!
@Torean
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow so I’ll ask. Thanks for the reminder to put it on my list <3
What causes your anxiety?
Lol, you look forward to responding to my ridiculously dumb posts? XD
You don’t usually have something to look forward to? :(
Tiny is probably busy being EPIC AND AWESOME <3 <3 <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Lol, I think you're right about the last part. And yes I admit looking forward to all of it. 😂 I look forward to lots of things, and people get weirded out by how easily excitable and amused I get.
What causes me anxiety? Anything. Mostly people and not really knowing about their reactions or what they say behind my back.
@Torean
She’s super awesome just by existing <3
Awwww thanks <3 You make it WAY more fun to be on here <3
What kinds of posts should I post next? <3
Ooh like what?? <3
Sammmmeeeee… I am so paranoid sometimes XD
@jesusredeemedme2425
Indeed, and likewise. ❤️😁 I don't know what posts should be done next. This is why I don't create many threads. Maybe I gotta get into the right mindset and start some! Hmmm, I get excited about things like tasty food, video games, cloudy weather. Also, completely ridiculous things, like going to Lowe's, because I like walking through their light aisles. Similarly Hobby Lobby, so that I can walk through the flower aisles. 😂
@Torean
This is your cue to write a new post!!! Tag me in it <3
Use this for inspo: https://parade.com/1219465/marynliles/weird-questions-to-ask/
@jesusredeemedme2425
Lol, I'll do something and tag you. ❤️ I skimmed that whole list and I feel like my brain hates me now. 😂
@Torean
But did it make you think??? Hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425
Lol a little bit. I uh... Forgot to tag anyone. I should go back and do that.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I agree- some of my friendships have originated from a shared sadness from things like friendship struggles and bullying. I think it’s important to be vulnerable with others to form a closer bond.
@ivoryDog4942
Some of my tightest friendships were made tight because of us sharing our pain and sadness. Also, sometimes hurting each other, and being forgiven and brought back into the fold, can make relationships a deeper bond as well. <3
I think people get into relationship , friendship included, to seek support and happiness, not to get sad. lots of friendship die slowly because we overburden each other with our problems and sadness and people walk away. just my opinion.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I can sit with a friend that is sad. I can't be sad with them.
I believe this is very true, but there are pros and cons which my friend who also suffers with depression and I discuss.
We don’t want to make things worse for each other. So sometimes it’s better to suffer in silence for a while rather than bring a friend down with you. 🙂 We can easily fall into the trap of only discussing our sadness, negativity and depression with someone we have bonded with over depression. This actually damaged and ended a friendship I had many, many years ago. So…there are advantages and disadvantages to trauma bonding especially when we are in fragile and vulnerable states of mind.
@jesusredeemedme2425 That's how genuine relationships are built. You know that the other person stayed through thick and thin and at that moment you won't feel as lonely. I used to pretend to be brave in front of my friend to not make them more sad but over time I learnt it's okay to let out your true feelings because friends are safe space for you. They love you for the true you.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Friends are there to lift the spirits, not be embroiled in others' unhappiness.
Just my opinion............