"How do you handle negative comments in your life ? "
@limeCat9290
Remember these comments are reflective of the person saying them and not you.
Don't take them on board.
Take time to process.
Be honest with how you feel.
Stand up yourself.
Set boundaries.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and understand you 💜🥰
I usually ignore them.
Most ad hominem I run into is online...the great blessing of the Internet is it's unmasked the masses. Just about everyone has false courage now that we're all behind screens (& often, false names & faceless avatars) so people feel free to say what they really think, instead of being polite. Most negative comments, IME, show either cognitive mediocrity, shallow wit, regnant tribalism, a lack of education, or any two of the foregoing. They--the comments & the two-legged cattle who bray them onscreen--aren't worth my time.
@limeCat9290
ugh 😩 NOT well at all!!!!!!!
What did I do, what could I do better, why oh why don’t they like me and I 😭
I cringe, I take it personally, then I step back and try and see if objectively they are trying to help me improve or if it's just spite.
It's mood dependant also, could be a day I'm feeling a bit raw and sensitive so I might lash out, I might ignore them or I might retaliate.
There are also better ways to phrase things, without hurting someone on purpose but just gently making them think..
Sorry I don't know if it's possible to edit a post. I forgot to add that it also depends on who is saying this.
If it's someone I don't care about, it's way easier to dismiss them. If it's someone close to me, then it cuts a lot deeper and I would probably go on the defensive. I don't like confrontations at all, even if I'm being mistreated unless it's gone a step too far..
@ScrabbleBrain Speaking as a fellow sufferer of mental illness & other life challenges (you must have a reason for joining Cups, otherwise why would you be here), putting it as tactfully as I can: if bad comments disturb you that much & that often, you shouldn't spend a lot of time online.
Yes, ad hom can hurt...As I've said more than once, what the Internet has done is unmask humanity, or at least the portion of it with regular online access. Because they're behind screens & hundreds of kilometers away, they feel free to say what they really think. We are exposed to their true nature, to the festering cesspool inside what they call their hearts. What all that means is if you're gonna spend time online, you'd better have thick skin. If you're a sensitive person, either grow a thick skin or limit your online time strictly. I learned to not take anyone's noise personally a long time ago but every so often, even I have to abstain from the Net for a few days in a row....
People are the way they are, man. No point in expecting anything better from them.
@slowdecline48 Appreciate the reply and this isn't the first time I've used a volunteering type service so I'm prepared for the good and bad. I focus on those that felt so uplifted and better able to cope after our chats.
Offline or online, there's been a lot of negativity in my life. I've always been sensitive and will continue to be that way. I'm not ashamed of it, it makes good writing and people in the same boat, connect to me.
The way I see it, if I can make someone feel less alone, less like there is no-one on their side to listen and support them, that's a good thing.
I've felt like that and it's not a nice feeling, so my aim to just be there for someone else and that's why I'm here to hopefully achieve that :)
@limeCat9290
their comments are reflections of them, not of me. until they've walked in my shoes, their comments hold no validity.
@limeCat9290
Ever since I was a teen, I just never pay attention to them.
I've gotten to the point that I could care less what others think or say if me.
Even what I wear at work, if anyone comments I just reply with "I wasn't put on this earth to be in a fashion show" 😁🤪. That usually shuts them up.
