Can't afford therapy, but I need help
I came to this site because I keep having these episodes where I cry hysterically and start saying things. It happens when I'm disoriented, like when I'm really drunk or having a nightmare. Last time it happened was New Years, and I said a lot of things to my boyfriend, Dylan, who was trying to console me. I kept saying stuff about abuse and people hitting me even though I've never had that happen and I told Dylan he was "just like the others". He started crying so I reached for a knife because I didn't want him to have to deal with these episodes anymore. I didn't do anything but suicide is a touchy subject with him, as well as the previous things I said. Now he says he thinks we should split up until we can both tackle our demons, but I'm not sure I can do that without him. I need advice on how to stop these episodes or find out what's causing them. I quit drinking but that doesn't solve what's making me say these things. I want to get better and I need advice on how to communicate with my boyfriend so he doesn't shut me out anymore.
@snowfire23
Also, I promised to stop cutting when he and I got together and haven't cut in 5 months, but he checked my legs the day after this all happened. He doesn't trust me to tell the truth anymore and I don't know what to tell him.
@snowfire23 hello. I have one question for you. What do you gain from what you do? Do you like the attention you receive when you say things that are not true? Or when you start crying? You said you are not longer cutting, that is great! Congratulations:) but when you were cutting what was the satisfaction you were getting out of doing so? When you reached out for knife, did you really meant to kill yourself ? Or hurt yourself?
