Help
I'm 15 years old and I was sexually abused by an adult last 1-2 months. What should I do?
While i cant be your listener, what i can tell you is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and that IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT
while you may not find that these staments resonate with you right now, as a fellow survior, i know that there are so many times i have questioned these tennants, and that being told these things by many different people helped me to believe it. I know that the road ahead of you will be long, and trecherous but please never doubt those two things.
The next 3 things that you should keep in mind is
1. find a trusted adult in real life and tell them (keep telling adults until someone believes you, its my biggest regret in life... these can be teachers, principals, your parents, your friend's parents, an adult sibling, aunts, uncles, adult cousins, the police, your doctor, a therapist, your school counslor, your boss at work (maybe, idk), just anyone who you think you can trust)
2. get yourself safe.... please for me... get yourself away from that person, again my biggest regret in life, telling a trusted adult should help with this, if its your parent or someone you live with then ask your friends parents or a close aunt or uncle if you can stay there for a while after you have explained whats happening, if its your tutor, coach, or pastor tell your parents about it and REFUSE to go, your saftey is most important
3. figure out how you want to achieve closure... if its by telling the police then go and do that, and/or if its getting therapy, find out a way for you to do that, just get closure now, it will be easier
this is what i wish i could have told myself to do back when i was first molested, and i sincerely wish that i had. in closure, this is not your fault, you matter and you are not alone, lots of people near and far care about you, and if you think im stretching the truth, at least the 7cups community and I are there for you.
@missingparts You have given me the best advice ever. I genuinely appreciate you speaking out for me and helping me, especially since you went through this. And you're right--I suffered immensely within the first couple of weeks with a feeling of shame and guilt. This person was actually a very trusted relative who, fortunately, lives in another country. This happened when he came to visit. And only recently, after doing research about laws and the thought-process of these type of people, I became realizing that I was a victim. And after reading how most minors are "groomed," all the dots were connected from every little subtle words he told me and things he did--which fill me with resentment at the thought of them. The thing is, he texted me afterward as if it were a mutual and consensual thing. He basically tried to make it sound as if it were okay. It is not okay. It is heinous and terrible. I disconnected myself from him after realizing so, but I still have him on social medias. And he has the audacity to continuously text my little and older siblins who are all also minors. I've held myself back from going off on him and telling him to get the f out of our lives for the risk of spilling the truth about what he did to me. School starts soon, and I'm building the courage to tell my friends. I've told them that something happened to me, but I haven't told them what yet. It's so hard. So hard. 😓
@missingparts Thank God I am not in any sort of immediate danger. But how can I build the courage to tell others? This is the stuff that I only heard about from the news. I feel like because it sounded like such a foreign thing, I thought I was untouchable from it. And I don't know if I'm experiencing trauma. I go all up until 6 am just laying in my bed, my head spinning in circles thinking about this. I've had nightmares too. And it feels like a haunting. Whenever my family ever mentions him, I want to go hide. It just baffles me how the least person you would expect, is the one who hurts you. Sometimes I am distracted by it, and then somehow something reminds me of the event, and I go into like shock--like I can't believe that I went through it. Like it didn't feel real. Is this trauma?
@missingparts And I said this to another adult on this thread, but I'd like to say it to you too because you have greatly impacted me <3 : I came to this website looking for help from a person with life experience and wisdom who would know how to lift me from the mud. Like a parental embrace and salvation. It was hard for me talking to some other teens on here at first because they were either a bit dismissive or they just apologized and pitied me. But it sucks that I can't have an adult listener which is what I feel is what I really need. Nonetheless I am beyond grateful for all people teens or adults who have tried to help me. Thank you soooo soo much.