Not sure this site is for me...
I had a very insidiously abusive childhood and youth (mostly emotional) in which my mother had everyone in the house treating me very badly in different ways. I grew up with major gaslighting and constant put-downs that had nothing to do with the reality of who I was. My mother lived vicariously through the men in her life and would not allow me to feel like I exist. She had a ridiculously sick amount of respect for male supremacy. My oldest brother was sadistic towards me in conjunction with her and the middle brother was oblivious, ignorant and self-absorbed but touted as a genius. I went through many changes as a result. I was very depressed for years. A wasted life; I'm just trying to make the best of what's left. Would like someone who understands to reach out to me. Thanks.
Hey there, I think you have made the. Right decision to come here and definitely this site can help you, you are not alone, I had a similar childhood a mother who was emotionally and physically abusive, she forced me out and always treated my brother's better and cared for them more than me, still dealing with being alone and having no family, I too feel like my life has been waste I also have felt depressed for a long time, I understand that you may feel like you don't deserve to have support and kindness sent your way but that is not true at all you do and you deserve to be able to live free from that pain
@ivyk I don't feel I'm undeserving of support, I just don't feel fully understood most of the time. While my experience was heartbreaking, my primary emotion grew to be anger. I feel angry everyday but that is because I always find myself thinking about my unhappy childhood and youth.
@ivyk You replied to my post 2 months ago. Care to talk with me?
@BBMusicLover
Hey dear, you can chat with me if you'd like. Free to find out if we feel we can relate to each other. I'm wishing all the best for you.
This site is a crock o' ____.
Hi
Just read your post.
I had an insanely rough upbringing with parents whom should not of been parents at the time, mainly my mother whom was terribly ignorant & would you believe would get in front of TV cameras & pretend to be some kind of advocate for abuse it's sickening to say the least.
She was that woman who stood by as all the men in her life literally assaulted her own children & she would vlaim it never happened, she wasn't there or doesn't remember.
Her excuse she was abused as a child.
I can relate, I love my brothers, youngest unfortunately is a carer for our mother & autistic she takes all his money & is severely manipulated by her.
Although my oldest sister seen as the golden child... turned out to horrible & so antisocial only talks to mummy dearest & has cut the rest of us off, all we've ever done is love & help even during her psychotic mood swings, her drunken drug binges where she ditch her own children & run...
It's hard to fit so much into one little story.
Maybe our lives differ in comparison but I think we could definitely relate to one anothers stories?
@BBMusicLover I also grew up in an abusive home but it was hidden so well, it was almost impossible to explain to others exactly what was going on. A very covert form of gaslighting. It took may years to “escape” even after having physically left home. So I hear you when you say it feels like a “wasted life.” I suffer the habits that followed me from that experience, anger, distrust of people and situations and some grief for what could have been. Learning how to form new habits and anger is ingrained very deeply, but I’m getting much better with it. 7 Cups is a good place for some support.
@helpfulAvocado7912
Care to talk?
@BBMusicLover
I wish I could actually meet in person with some people who had similar experiences -- at a coffee shop -- for tea. Funny, Green Tea (decaffeinated) with honey is one of my favorite drinks.