1 bad thing, then 2 - the snowball is getting better

My car issue

My laptop ascended to heaven

Client reported a compliant my crew didn’t do

Auto repair $$$$ and feeling like auto did not look at my car issue

my laptop I ordered was cancelled by seller

Another client reported a complaint my crew didn’t do too.

I worry about my draining savings.

This April snow ball is so big and so heavy, May can’t even melt.

It’s alright, I tell myself. It’s a snowball. Snowball melt eventually. They become liquid and they flow away. In their path they would leave messy mud but it will dry. When the earth dries and the sun is high, new seeds will sprout.

But the voice told me I must not stop worrying. How bad I am to try to calm down. I have to think of a solution. 24/7 I cannot stop worrying until a solution is found. I reason, some things are just out of my control. Excuse excuse it yelled back.

Heh. I don’t even know what to call this voice. It speaks that I must be perfect. It tolerates no flaws. All mistakes made me unworthy and I, forever be undeserving. I will never be enough.

Then why must I bother meeting its standard and do it bitting?

because I have nothing worthy without it.

That is not true and I know it. But it has been so long, it feels like me.