Alone forever

I have no friends and have never had friends. People who see me in community and are always happy when I'm around. But no one cares about men or wants to be friends with guys. Girls all stick together, they show up for each other, they share in each others' joys and sorrows. I'm always home alone while my wife goes out with the girls. Because I have no one. I had no best man or groomsmen at my wedding. I get along better with women but that's not allowed by society. Sometimes my wife will invite over one of her friends she doesn't even like that much so I can hang with her because she knows we get along better. But society doesn't allow for platonic friendships and no one will ever show up for me the way they'd show up for a woman. I'm so lonely. I'm so exhausted of being alone my whole life. Life doesn't feel worth it anymore.

And don't give me those stupid suicide hotlines, that's all anyone does so they don't have to actually sit with me and listen and feel what it feels like and admit that the world hates men. And I've tried those hotlines and the people on there are so fake and are just looking to check boxes so they can go home and say they did something.