Am I a villain?

Hello, the new year has begun and I have started to think hard about a certain situation, I wanted to write about her here because I want to see if what I did was problematic, etc.

So, im 14 yo and I have this one "friend" she isn't my friend anymore but idk what to call her, let's call her Amelia and she is 13 yo, we were born in the same year, but I was born at the beginning and she was born at the end. We became friends through similar interests, we were both interested in alternative fashion and "weird kids" interests, for example some video games, anime, manga, I don't find it weird but it seems to be classified like that. You could say that she was the first at alternative fashion in terms of clothing, yk black clothes and so on, I really wanted to dress like this too, maybe with more colors tho, she liked to say that she was emo or metalhead or punk when we were a little younger, I really liked scene fashion, I started to buy something similiar, but she always had better fits, I wasnt basic but I was super ugly tbh, like she had much better style but she was still supporting me, she knew more about music because music is very important in alt culture, Over time, I started dressing better and better, for example, I dyed my hair, I thrifted clothes because earlier I was buying from temu and I get rid of my glasses, Amelia is prettier naturally still but I started to get prettier too, my glasses were my biggest complex because they made my already small eyes even smaller, Amelia once asked me if I could see anything because my eyes were so small, it was a bit rude of her to ask me, I reminded her about this weeks later and she said im lying or she was just joking, like it would make it Okay. She was sometimes mean, but I still liked her, she was a rebel in school, my friend didn't like her much because they said she was an attention seeker, but I still defended her and justified her because her parents were divorced and were a bit weird. I noticed that when the attention sometimes fell on someone else, for example on me, Amelia immediately gave me a side eye or some weird look and tried to make everything about her, when I once told about the situation where I got hit in the head with a champagne cork at Amelia's birthday party, when she invited me, she started saying that im lying , I wasn't lying, it really happened and it doesn't have a sense why would I lie about such a small thing? If I really wanted to lie I could say that it was on my cousin's birthday, so nobody could know If its true or false. So It was summer vacation, Amelia became a part of my group of friends, I was always a loner kinda, I didn't have many friends and I didn't know many people(I have a hope that it will change💔) so like everything was fine I suppose but at the beginning of the school year, one of my friends said that when she met Amelia and some other people at a meeting, she heard Amelia talking bad about me. Like saying im copying her and that I *** her off, I couldn't tell Amelia about it because I promised not to tell her that I knew about it because my friend told me not to do it. I started ignoring Amelia but she was sometimes acting too nice to me, like she sat one time next to me in the class and I was drawning some emo dude and later I saw she draw the exaxt emo dude, not saying she copied me but it just weird that she draw him, like the exaxt same clothes and everything. She kinda started to dress more colourful too, like Black+colors when earlier she was most Black, to clarify, I learned about alt music etc., and Amelia also talked to me that I dress alt without knowing music or politics, while Amelia didn't know who was in the presidential elections in our country and she buys from temu still? Like my mom sometimes buys me from fast fashion but like I don't understand why Amelia would have a problem with this, it's literally hypocrisy. But I try to buy most of it from second-hand stores. Then I find out that Amelia blocked me on her *** account (I found out from another friend, from my best friend) and she did a video about me, she didn't say who it was about but it was "Me because that one girl I was friends with copied me and thinks she's super alt but she doesn't know *** about music or politics" like...Okay? I thought she didn't gaf about me, but she made a tt about me, her friend stalks my reposts too when Amelia is at her house, like ok...I started to wonder what I could have done wrong, after all, when I was much uglier than Amelia, she supported me and was happy that I wanted to have that style too,.we don't even have 1:1 style bruh...just similiar elements because we take inspriatjon from similiar subcultures. I think I was also not okay sometimes, I was super insecure and I told Amelia that I was very jealous of her appearance because she fits perfectly into being an alt etc., it was weak of me that I was complaining all the time, I regret it...I don't know what I could have done, when Amelia once said that a certain type of people annoyed her, I think I said that she behaved similarly, it could be kinda mean too, maybe there were some situations where I was not fair to her because of my jealousy, but I was always worried about her and I even gave her a present on her birthday as the only one in my class. I can add that she watches gore, sent it to such a group, called the girl names for how she looks and not what she did, drinks, smokes, pretended to be drunk once and she once drank at a school sleepover and because of her there might not be a sleepover at school this year, she wasnt even guility for what she did, I think she can get away with everything because she's pretty and skinny. So like that's everything I think, I still envy her because she Has more friends and Has more interesting life, she will probably mature and be better than me, she already is, I also had problems with my parents but her is more traumatic..I just wanted to write about this

And idk what to do now...like I want to move on but I can't...because I feel like a loser...and Amelia posts sh pics or red pics on ***, I don't think anybody wrote to her about this...Like I feel bad for her bc I struggle with sh too, maybe not an addiction but I do it too.